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Doll Therapy Works Wonders For Some Women With Dementia

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By LYN ROCHE Tribune correspondent

The Tampa Tribune

Published: November 22, 2008

Dear Lyn: My mother is 82 and was officially diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2002. She lives with my husband and me. She currently believes she has two little children other than her five grown children. She has these spells in which she starts worrying about them and is afraid they are outside alone and can't get into the house. Sometimes she thinks they are ages 9 and 10. Other times she thinks they are about 2 years old.

Last night was the worst episode ever. If she could walk, she would have wandered the streets in the dark looking for them. She was very upset with me because I wouldn't take her in the car and go look for them. She was extremely agitated. I told her I sent my husband to look for them and he found them at camp, and they were fine and asleep. She wasn't buying it and asked lots of detailed questions. I stayed with her until she finally fell asleep.

This morning when she woke up, she remembered it and now she is still asking about them. I told her they were at camp and everything is under control and I would never let anything happen to her children. I'm not comfortable with the lie I have created, and now I have to stick with it. I don't know what to do. Do you have any advice for me? We don't know what the "trigger" was, if anything. Please help.

- Upset in Tampa

Dear Upset: Talk with your mother's doctor about the possibility of drug interactions. Ask him to review her medications. She could be experiencing hallucinations and delusions. She may be "seeing" children outside the house. She believes they are hers and they can't get inside to be with her.

However, it could be as basic as her mind taking her back to her early days of mothering. In which case, her anxiety revolves around her instinctive feelings of responsibility for her children.

Based on the positive results I've seen and studies I've read about doll therapy for ladies with dementia, I suggest you get your mom a baby doll. Many companies specialize in dolls that look and feel real. The Alzheimer's Store catalog ( www.alzstore.com) has four to choose from. Don't worry that your mom has mentioned different ages of the children she's been looking for - ladies love infants.

Place the doll somewhere in the house where she will see it and can pick it up herself. That way you will not be "forcing" something on her if she isn't interested. My guess is she will love having a "baby" to nurture. If that's the case, I would then get some real baby clothes for the doll and perhaps a small crib where she can put it down for its "naps." Your mother may be less agitated, more content and even cooperative if she can take her doll with her wherever she goes or can hold it no matter what she is doing. Many ladies with dementia like to simply sit and rock their "babies."

If she responds positively, it can be a real blessing for her. It isn't age inappropriate if it fills a need for her. You may never hear about the two missing children again and then you won't have to feel you are lying to her. Of course, if she loves this "baby" but still says she has two babies, I suggest you get it a "sibling" right away.

Caregiving expert and author Lyn Roche helped care for her father, mother-in-law and grandmother. Write Lyn Roche at Journey Publications, P.O. Box 433, Sebring, FL 33871 or lyn@thecaregiverscaregiver.com. Visit her Web site at www.thecaregiverscaregiver.com

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