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Let's All Drown Our Worries At That Spa

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By STEVE OTTO

The Tampa Tribune

Published: October 10, 2008

Mom was having a bad day. When she called just after noon she said she had been in an accident and was standing next to her car on Dale Mabry Highway, and would I come over?

It was just a fender-bender, but you have to know it was blistering hot and traffic was rolling next to her on the highway as if she was just one of Bob's Barricades.

She has been driving since she was 16 with nary a scratch, and this was a little overwhelming. The groceries in the back were thawing out, the woman in the sports car who had whacked into her was being surly and even though Mom was not at fault, the paperwork process was taking its toll as we stood out in the sun while the stress-o-meter soared.

Despite all of that, what really had her steamed was not the accident so much as when she pulled out her insurance card from AIG. All she could think about was how those clowns at American International Group had been living it up at a spa on the taxpayers' dime. My guess is that Mom isn't the only one steamed.

I was watching the news this week and the anchor was reporting on a study by the American Psychological Association that claimed the collapsing economy has raised the stress level in something like eight out of 10 Americans. I wondered who those two in 10 Americans not under stress might be, other than those AIG people at the spa or the financial executives who are home packing golden parachutes before heading off on world cruises.

Calling The Stress Busters
The woman on the TV said the three best ways of coping with the increased stress were to meditate, take a walk and breathe.

I could understand the breathing part. I'm no expert but I would venture that breathing prevents all sorts of problems.

Walking is also a good idea. I remember when my old friend, the late Buster Agliano, invited us over to his house for dinner and to watch the annual Florida-Georgia football game. He tended to take these games a little more seriously than most.

The Gators, who were favored, fell behind early and by halftime it was looking grim. Agliano picked up a football, walked out the door and as we all looked out the window, he went down the street, punting the ball as he went.

By the time he returned, the Gators had lost and we had started eating dinner. He never said the first word about the game.

I don't think any of that is going to cut it. I was watching a panel discussion and one panelist said the 401(k) plans most of us are losing our shirts on were never intended to be used as a retirement plan.

The Trillion-Dollar Solution

Seems like everything I've heard from my company's human resources department has encouraged me to plan my retirement based on the 401(k). Anyhow, after hearing that I went for a walk with the dog. At least the dog seemed to feel better when we got back.

Maybe breathing and long walks will eventually help, but if we want to really feel better about things, the government ought to book 200 million rooms at that spa in California. I mean, when the national debt is around 10 trillion bucks, what's another trillion going to matter? Maybe we can get a discount on massages and pedicures.

Keyword: Otto Graphs, to read and comment on Steve Otto's blog.

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