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Top Reasons To Vote McCain

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The Tampa Tribune

Published: October 24, 2008

My top 10 reasons to vote for McCain:

1. Corporate welfare isn't socialism, just a helping hand for capitalists.

2. This whole confusing tax rate won't really matter to you when you get laid off.

3. If George Bush had listened to me 10 percent of the time instead of me listening to him 90 percent of the time, we wouldn't be in this mess.

4. Somehow "the incumbent party of change" makes perfect sense to me.

5. My running mate's husband belonged to a party that promoted Alaska succeding from the Union, but she is "pro-American" through and through.

6. I've only been in Washington for more than 20 years, so compared to Ted Kennedy, I really am a maverick outsider.

7 If I die, my running mate, the mayor of Mayberry, has a plan to stimulate the economy by building $15 million hockey rinks in all small towns of 7,000.

8. "Joe six pack" will be too drunk to know he's not getting much plumbing work these days.

9. My plan to "protect marriage" is to focus on the 3 percent who can't get married instead of the 50 percent who wind up divorced.

10. I'm for Main Street, not Wall Street. That's why 4 of my 7 houses are on main streets.

That's all for now, I'm busy trying the same old things and expecting different results.

JOHN MCGOURTY

Seffner

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