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Grief Gets Under Teens' Skin

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By KEITH MORELLI

The Tampa Tribune

Published: September 3, 2008

TAMPA - Nick Barnett was devastated when he got the news one day last month that two friends had died in a traffic collision.

He left work to spend a few hours with their families. Then he went to a tattoo parlor.

Barnett, an 18-year-old Bloomingdale High School graduate, joined what tattoo shops describe as a growing number of teens and young adults memorializing dead friends and family in permanent body ink.

The markings provide constant connections, and sometimes spark conversation, about the loved ones being remembered. Although parlors say that memorial tattoos account for up to a third of their business, they say they are increasing in popularity and attracting younger people.

Some psychiatrists aren't sure, though, that this is a good way to ease the sense of loss. While it may seem to help in the grieving process, they say, body art demands more consideration than it often gets.

"That's not to say that tattoos are a bad thing in any way," said Eric Storch, a University of South Florida professor and psychiatrist. "But it's a very permanent thing. Someday, you may feel differently."

Barnett spent five hours in the tattoo shop chair - longer, he said, than the time he took deciding to go through with it.

"It hurt," he acknowledged. "A lot."

It was nothing, though, compared with the loss he felt from his friends' deaths, he said.

Early Aug. 4, two vehicles collided on State Road 60 near Plant City. Each carried friends of Barnett. Two died: Nicholas Marcotrigiano, 18, and Haley Weatherly, 15. The case is still under investigation, the Florida Highway Patrol said.

A few hours after learning of the tragedy, Barnett, his brother and two others decided to get memorial tattoos. Barnett was the first to go, that very day, to Art Explosion, a tattoo parlor in Brandon.

He sat from mid-afternoon until just before dark while an artist buzzed an ink-pumping needle into his chest.

When it was done, Barnett emerged with reddened skin around a 5-inch design on the left side of his upper chest, proclaiming the date of the wreck and first names of his dead friends over a wrench and a bouquet of flowers.

"The wrench is for Nick," Barnett said, "because I met him in auto tech. The flowers are for Haley because, well, she's Haley. It makes me have a connection to them. They always will be with me."

Barnett said he will never regret undergoing the process, which cost $300. Four friends of his who are grieving the recent deaths also got tattoos and a couple of others are considering it.

Brad Woods, owner of Art Explosion, confirmed that friends of the Plant City teens have been in to get similar styles of memorial body art.

"We've had five or six," Woods said. "We do memorial tattoos more than you would realize."

Woods estimates that a third of his business is tattooing names and portraits, and half of those memorialize loved ones who have died.

"It's a pretty happening thing nowadays," he said.

A Surge In Popularity

Memorial tattoos are nearly as old as the art of tattooing, artists say, but they've noticed a recent surge in their popularity.

It started four or five years ago for Lenny Welch, who runs Addicted 2 Tattoos on North Florida Avenue.

"I'd say it's about 20 to 30 percent of my business," Welch said.

A whole new motif has emerged in the body ink business: standard designs that leave room for names and dates.

"It gives a person something to look at," she said. "It keeps a memory alive. They don't want to forget them, and they think it does them honor when they put something permanent on their bodies."

Across town, at Artistic Armor on North 30th Street, manager Tim Kenney said memorial tattoos account for 15 percent to 20 percent of his business.

"We do a fair bit of them," Kenney said. "It's always been a thing."

He's seen a shift, though. Most of those seeking memorial tattoos are 16 to 20 years old.

"It's just more of a younger, urban type of kids who are doing it now."

In a 2006 survey, the Pew Research Center found 36 percent of those 18 to 25 and 40 percent of those ages 26 to 40 had been tattooed.

Good Therapy Or Foolish Impulse?

Memorial tattoos are good therapy for some, and foolish, youthful impulsiveness for others, said Storch, who works with USF's Child and Adult Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Treatment Program in St. Petersburg.

"I think many times with kids, teens and very young adults, their thought processes are all about immediate future," he said. "Tomorrow is the only thing that really matters, but they are making decisions that have permanent consequences."

His advice: "Wait a little bit; see how you feel in a few months. If you feel strongly about it then, start looking into it a little more. With some people, it's almost a compulsion. I would say, take a deep breath, wait and see how you feel in a few months."

Sometimes, a tattoo may help ease the grief, he said.

"It's a way of paying tribute, of letting people know that these people were important in their lives."

Still, he added, there are other ways.

"Some people have bumper stickers on their cars. That might be one way. People make donations; others make dedications."

Getting a tattoo is more difficult, especially for teens, said Sailor Bill Johnson, executive director of the Alliance of Professional Tattooists in Maitland.

Under Florida law, customers younger than 18 must present notarized permission from parents and most shops require a parent be present when the customer is younger than 16, Johnson said.

The alliance has worked with the Legislature to promote safety in the business while still allowing artists to prosper, he said.

Two examples: Under Florida law, tattoo shops must contract with a medical doctor to oversee health safety practices, and artists must attend at least two educational seminars each year.

A Carefully Considered Decision

Heidi Reed, a 35-year-old mother of two from Port St. Lucie, typifies those more mature mourners who say they give careful thought to undergoing the needle.

Reed lost a baby in her eighth week of pregnancy in December. Nothing she did brought her comfort, not even the special angel ornament she bought for her Christmas tree.

"I wanted something more permanent," she said.

Reed was first in shock at the death of her unborn child, then she felt stifling grief set in. She tried talking her way through it with friends and family and prayed a lot. But the weight of her loss grew heavier.

She regretted never keeping the ultrasound picture of her baby. She had nothing to remember the child.

In January, she and her husband decided on a tattoo for her. It was a difficult decision.

She already had one piece of body art, a flower on her ankle that had faded.

"I have one tattoo that means absolutely nothing," Reed said. "And I have one tattoo that means absolutely everything."

An angel, sitting with its head resting on drawn-up knees, now adorns her upper back, squarely between her shoulder blades. The word "Angel Baby" is above, and "Forever" below.

"Until I die," Reed said, "it's here."

Reporter Keith Morelli can be reached at (813) 259-7760 or kmorelli@tampatrib.com.

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