TBO.com - TBO is Tampa Bay Online

Bay Area Gay Couples Tying Knot In California

ADVERTISEMENT

By DONNA KOEHN

The Tampa Tribune

Published: September 15, 2008

TAMPA - Sometime between the salad and the entree at Ruth's Chris Steak House in Tampa, a small box appeared on the table.

David Salinero, 43, had no idea what size ring to buy, so he bought one that fit his own finger.

His partner, Michael, 44, was too embarrassed to open the box right away. But he said yes.

"I was planning to go with Michael on a business trip to California," Salinero says. The timing was perfect: California had legalized same-sex marriages just weeks before. "Very quickly, the wheels started turning and I decided to propose."

The couple was married in a small civil ceremony in Napa Valley on Aug. 25.

"I've had conversations with my straight friends who say that I'm a part of history," says Salinero, who works at PricewaterhouseCoopers. "I'm happy about that, but what I cared about most was that I love my partner."

Michael, a trainer with Progressive Insurance who asked that his last name not be used out of respect for his father, says he was profoundly affected by the permanence that marriage confers.

"It's a commitment that one isn't going to just pick up and move out," he says, from the couple's home near downtown Tampa. They have lived together almost five years.

It isn't just high-profile couples such as talk show host Ellen DeGeneres and actress Portia de Rossi who are taking the opportunity to marry. Tampa Bay area couples cite a variety of reasons, from the political and economic to the emotional and personal.

No one knows how many same-sex couples from Florida are crossing the 2,400-plus miles to wed in California. The state isn't keeping statistics, but a study by researchers at the UCLA law school predicts that more than 67,500 same-sex couples from outside the state and more than 51,000 from California will say "I do" in the first three years.

The study also estimates the marriages will bring in $55.1 million in state and local tax revenue, along with $8.8 million in marriage license fees.

The California Supreme Court ruled in May that the state constitution could not forbid same-sex marriage. However, an initiative to restrict marriage to male and female pairs has qualified for the November ballot.

The only other state where it is legal to marry someone of the same gender is Massachusetts, although Vermont, Connecticut, New Jersey and New Hampshire allow civil unions.

Florida Voters Favor Amendment

In Florida, same-sex marriages are not recognized. In a recent poll by Quinnipiac University, 55 percent of Florida voters support an amendment that would define marriage as between a man and a woman only. Among white evangelical Christians, the number is 78 percent.

Supporters of the amendment are urging Florida churches to recognize "Marriage Sunday" on Oct. 19 to generate interest among Christian voters before the November elections.

For Edie Daly, 71, and Jackie Mirkin, 77, of Gulfport, their summer vows in California were a chance to honor each other and their commitment to their relationship. But the retired nurse and social worker also wanted to make a statement.

"We made the trip from Florida to California to keep striving for everyone's civil rights," Daly says. "The more folks who take advantage of this law, the more other folks will listen and pay attention to the fact that loving each other is not a weird or unusual thing."

The Desire To Be Counted

Mirkin says she was attracted to Daly more than a decade ago because of their shared values and their interest in social justice.

"We would not have chosen marriage as a political stand when there are so many other issues we might have chosen first," Mirkin says. "But I'm an eternal optimist. When the opportunity arose, we felt we should be counted."

Even though their marriage license is not a legal document in Florida, the women say they hope it will help if people question their relationship someday.

"I don't believe it would happen, but if something did happen to one of us and if the case came to litigation, and someone was saying, 'They were just roommates,' the license would be evidence that we took the time and made the commitment to do this. It wasn't just a transitory thing," Mirkin says.

Salinero says his family has been supportive of his marriage.

"My parents cried when I told them," he said.

They will celebrate their wedding and his parents' upcoming anniversary together. Salinero's co-workers also are planning a reception to honor the couple.

"People ask me if I feel different. And, yeah, I do feel different. Like any straight couple, you feel that same joy. It feels good."

Reporter Donna Koehn can be reached at (813) 259-8264 or dkoehn@tampatrib.com.

Share this:

Loading Comments...

Email Print

ADVERTISEMENT