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Rape Victims Reclaim Their Identity

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The Tampa Tribune

Published: September 22, 2008

Thank you, Melissa Dojka, for having the courage to tell this community about the rape you suffered at the hands of three marauding thugs who, if found guilty in a court of law, should be locked up for life.

Being raped is nothing to be ashamed of. You were the victim of a violent crime. Perhaps your willingness to discuss what happened will help lift the stigma that too many of our older female friends and relatives still carry in silence.
Societal attitudes only change when someone like you, Melissa, comes forward and describes the violence inflicted upon you, like a horror movie, as you were taking a shower.

Just a few decades ago, police officers treated rape victims as though they'd somehow "asked for it." They'd challenge the way the woman dressed, her decision to walk somewhere alone or her judgment in going to bed with a window opened.

It was as though by finding a reason to blame the victim, random acts of violence wouldn't befall the rest of us.

But as you so tragically learned, that's not the real world.

Jennifer Dritt, executive director of the Florida Council Against Sexual Violence, says going public helps rape victims throw off "the shame that isn't theirs to begin with." It lets people know we are all vulnerable, and those who've been assaulted are not alone.

Rape is so personally violating that some victims liken it to being murdered, except they are left to walk around in the shell of a body that no longer seems to be theirs. The road to recovery can be lonely, because like a cancer diagnosis a couple of generations ago, rape isn't something women have been willing to discuss in public.

We've come a long way in recognizing that rape victims are just that, victims.

The choice to go public is entirely personal. Laws and media sensibilities have long kept the identities of rape victims secret. Then along comes someone like you, Melissa, who walks with her head held high while teaching the rest of us about the horror of this societal plague.

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