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How Can I Help My Child Avoid Cyber-Bullying?

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Because it can be so intrusive, cyber-bullying can cause greater harm than conventional bullying.

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By ERIC A. STORCH, PhD

Tribune correspondent

Published: April 1, 2009

Kids have always been challenged by bullies, particularly at school. But in a high-tech age where the Internet, a personal cell phone and social networking Web sites such as Facebook and MySpace have become an integral part of young lives, there's a new kind of bully on the block.

Cyber-bullying involves using the Internet or cell phone technology to carry out repeated and hostile behavior. This online harassment, including such venues as e-mail, chat rooms, blogs and instant messaging, is intended to hurt or embarrass another person. A recent study in the Journal of Adolescent Health found that found that 11 percent of the more than 3,700 middle school students surveyed had been electronically bullied in the previous two months.

Exposure to cyber-bullying, just like conventional bullying, should never be considered an ordinary rite of childhood passage. Such experiences can be very emotionally damaging, contributing to increased depression, anxiety and loneliness among children and adolescents.

There are several ways kids cyber-bully others. They may harass a peer by sending abusive or threatening electronic messages. They may create a Web site to post embarrassing photos, videos, rumors or personal information that will denigrate the victim. Or they could use the victim's cyber-identity (e-mail account, instant messenger, screen name) to send messages intended to undermine that person's social relationships. They may divulge personal or sensitive information that will prompt other youths to ostracize the victim. Some cyber-bullies block the victim's entrance to an online social activity such as a game or private chat room, or use electronic communication to exclude peers from in-person social events.

Cyber-bullying has the potential to cause greater harm than conventional bullying, because electronic communication technology intrudes into the home, a place that once typically provided some reprieve from bullies. Since cyber-bullies cannot see or be seen by their victims, and often think they will not be held accountable for their actions, they may be more prone to escalate their threats than traditional bullies. They can reach a wider audience with their electronic attacks, and with limited Internet supervision, particularly outside chat rooms, cyber-bullying is easier to continue.

While each case should be considered individually, parents can take several steps to help kids avoid becoming victims of cyber-bullies:

Discuss cyber-bullying with your children; encourage them to recognize and report incidents to parents, teachers and webmasters.

Encourage them not to share personal information online (full name, address, Social Security number, credit card number, etc.) and to keep Internet passwords confidential.

Advise your child not to respond to rude or threatening messages; retaliation may escalate the harassment. If he or she keeps getting abusive messages, help block the e-mail address or screen name to prevent future contact.

Supervise Internet and cellular phone use, and be alert for signs of depression and social anxiety that may be related to online victimization. Set up computers in an open space, such as the living or family room. You may want to look at your child's social networking sites from time to time with your child present.

Encourage school administrators to adopt policies about appropriate use of cyber communication on school grounds and enforce consistent discipline for cyber-bullying.

Dr. Storch is an associate professor of pediatrics and psychiatry at USF Health.

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