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Discipline Can Revive The American Dream

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By DAVID WALSH

Special to the Tribune

Published: February 22, 2009

As the nation grapples with an economic meltdown worse than any since the Great Depression, we simultaneously search for short-term remedies to relieve the crisis and long-term solutions to prevent a recurrence. While we focus on restoring reasonable oversight and sound business practices, too often we fail to recognize an underlying cause, an epidemic caused by the media-saturated cultural drumbeat of "more, fast, easy and fun."

Every family, organization and business has someone who has experienced this epidemic, or as I call it, Discipline Deficit Disorder (DDD). How many children and teens do we know who are impatient, disrespectful and unable to delay enjoyment? How many co-workers or employees do we work with who have a sense of entitlement, are easily distracted, self-centered or greedy?

These are exactly the qualities that got us, all of us, into this economic crisis. Corporate CEOs who take golden parachutes while their companies sink and employees lose their jobs. Business leaders such as Tom Petters and Bernard Madoff who defrauded billions from investors or embezzled from their companies. Mortgage companies, credit card companies, real estate speculators and families looking to make easy cash or purchasing things they could never afford. We were all victims of DDD as too many of us saw quick profits, huge debts and excessive consumption as the royal road to happiness.

Ironically, DDD makes it a lot harder to be happy and healthy in the long run. A recent University of Pennsylvania study showed that self-discipline is twice as important as intelligence for success in the classroom. That makes a lot of sense when you take a look at the miserable position so many find themselves in today.

Some of the first evidence for the importance of self-discipline came from a Stanford University experiment involving 4-year-olds and marshmallows. Psychologists gave the kids a choice. "You can eat one marshmallow now or wait until I come back and if the first one is still there, I'll give you another. But if you eat this one, then you won't get the second." Some of the kids popped the marshmallow in their mouths before the door was even closed while others were able to wait as long as 20 minutes. Following up on the same group of kids years later yielded dramatic results. The ability to wait for the second marshmallow was an amazingly strong predictor of their subsequent school success, personal adjustment and happiness.

As a society, we have been cramming as many metaphorical marshmallows into our faces as fast as we can get them. But self-discipline isn't just important for hungry 4-year-olds; it's vital for all of us, young and old. If Wall Street firms had resolved to refrain from the easy payday, and if American homebuyers had resisted buying too much house, many of us wouldn't be in the dire straits we're in.

There is a lot at stake in our battle to cure Discipline Deficit Disorder. School success for our kids, work force readiness, global economic competiveness and healthy, caring communities are all in the balance. The road to recovery, however, is not the familiar ride down easy street. We will have to rediscover how to delay indulgence, make sacrifices and live within our means. In short, we will have to rediscover how to say "no" to ourselves.

If we can raise our children with self-discipline and restore it in ourselves, we will not only prevent another crisis like the one we're in now, we'll also be poised for success and satisfaction. Saying "no" to our children, and to ourselves, can be hard, but it is the best medicine during the best and worst of times. No is not the destination. It is the road to yes.

David Walsh is the founder and president of the National Institute on Media and the Family and author of "No. Why Kids - of All Ages - Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It." David Walsh is the founder and president of the National Institute on Medi

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