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'Joy Of Sex' Update Has Less 'Eww'

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The Washington Post

Published: January 13, 2009

The Hairy Man - skinny, skeezy, looks like a lost member of Jethro Tull? - must have represented some male ideal at some point, but that is a memory we have repressed. The big toe was surely never the "magnificent erotic organ" it was made out to be.

Yet something about "The Joy of Sex" resonated with people - or at least reached them, parked as it was on the New York Times bestseller list for years after its 1972 release. It went directly from shelf to nightstand drawer, where kids found it and went "eww."

It scintillated, it titillated, it taught you French you never learned from Madame Cousin. Most of all, it normalized. In the boudoir, everyone was OK, and everyone could be taught. Subtitled "A Gourmet Guide to Lovemaking," with such chapter headings as Starters, Main Courses and Sauces & Pickles, doctor-author Alex Comfort's book made being a sexpert a snobby hobby.

This week in bookstores: a major overhaul unlike the smaller updates done over the years. "The Joy of Sex: The Timeless Guide to Lovemaking" has 42 new sections mixed in with the old standards.

Comfort died in 2000, so Susan Quilliam, a British relationship shrink, stepped in to write new content and balance out the phallocentric worship from the original.

The new version is better, in some ways. For one, the Hairy Man is gone. replaced by a guy who looks like a Best Life cover model, and his new partner is a curvy, comely redhead. For two, the book has abandoned most of its bizarrely offensive terminology - a sexual position dubbed "a la Negresse," a crack about "one-legged ladies" - the latter replaced by a thoughtful address to disabled readers.

The rest of it is A-to-Z sex. Phone sex now makes an appearance. "Safe words" now make an appearance.

In the section on new positions, Quilliam recommends arranging a "practice session" before the actual interlude, to make sure no one gets hurt.

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