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Find your mate on a rec league date

Tribune photo by JIM REED

Mike and Susan Barnett found each other by joining a local kayaking group.

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By MARY SHEDDEN | The Tampa Tribune

Published: June 25, 2009

When Tracey Giebner moved to town more than a decade ago, she had never played soccer.

She was a runner, but she figured coed recreational soccer might be a good workout - and a great way to meet people.

"I thought, 'Wow, this is fun. I could do this,'" says Giebner, who moved here from Texas. "I've never played in my life. But I don't know anyone, so if I embarrass myself, it's no big deal."

That decision to go out and play changed her life. Giebner met and fell in love with the team's goalie. She and Chris Giebner are now married and have two sons, and they own Tampa Bay Club Sports, the area's largest adult sports league.

"It's a very low-key way to meet people," Chris Giebner says. "You're hopefully not out there trying to impress someone the whole time. You've got a game to play. People maybe get to see you as you are, rather than all primped up at a bar or going to clubs or whatever."

Though they may not pitch themselves that way, sports leagues and recreational activities provide singles with a comfortable way to meet away from the office and the bar scene. Camaraderie and, at the very least, a light cardio workout may pull you in, but there's also the potential to find romance, says Nancy Wall, founder of Tampa Bay Matchmakers.

"It's great to get out there and be physically active," she says. "It's good for the mind, for the body and metabolism. ... If you are single, what a great opportunity that maybe, in fact, you may meet someone of interest."

But don't try to find love by signing up for an activity you hate, Wall warns. If you're not having fun, what's the point?

"You're probably focused on the wrong thing," she says. "To force yourself to do something you're really not comfortable with, and not happy about, probably isn't the best way for you to approach anything in life, especially when it comes to dating and relationships."

Susan Barnett was looking for a kayaking partner, not a boyfriend, when she joined the Florida Outdoor Camping, Cycling and Kayaking group in 2008. She and the group's leader, Mike Barnett, are glad they met and fell in love in a relaxed, unglamorous environment.

"You're not so worried about 'Is he going to like me; is he not going to like me?' You didn't care," Susan Barnett says. "You were there to have fun."

The couple's love for kayaking and the outdoors group led to the decision to hold their April wedding on the Homosassa River. The wedding and overnight camping trip was that month's kayaking activity for the group, which organizes via www.meet up.com.

Tampa Bay Club Sport encourages players whose interests lie more in socializing than pure sport to try kickball or beach volleyball. More competitive people or those with playing experience may want to go with soccer or football.

Most of the group's more than 2,100 participants played in coed sport leagues last year. The activities typically cost $50 to $75 a season. Basketball is the only single-gender sport the club offers.

While bars are "quick and easy" places for busy professionals to meet people, committing to a team means eight to 10 weeks of showing up, Wall says. That time investment translates into really getting to know your teammates and their personalities, she says.

"Checking out the competition" takes on a whole new meaning, but it's as important as ever. It can help you figure out a lot about a person, on and off the field, Tracey Giebner says. If someone runs into another person, and says they're sorry, you're likely to like them more than a jerk that shows his or her true colors on the field.

"If the person that plows through you and just keeps going looks back and laughs, then you kind of know what kind of person they are, and then you try and stay away," she says.

Like any situation, there are hurdles to dating people in the same sports league. There will be times when you may not click with the team you've joined, or you won't want to be on a team with an ex. If you break up with a teammate, you may have to decide who gets "custody" of that activity or those friends.

Wall says the best way to avoid the situation is to create ground rules when you decide to become a couple. If things get tense, consider moving on.

"Don't take it personally," Wall says. "Just try something else."

Finally, don't be surprised if occasionally you discover the same type of sleazy pickup artist from the bar has signed up for your coed team. It happens, but kayak group leader Mike Barnett says his group has removed people for such behavior.

Besides, he adds, kayaking isn't the best place to drop a cheesy line, as voices carry on the river and will trail back to other kayakers.

"You know, when you start talking about your financial portfolio, and the new car you just bought and everything, it becomes a little obvious," he says.

Know what sport suits you

Want to "check out" the competition in a recreational sports league?

Then you better know what you enjoy and what you're able to handle, say Chris and Tracey Giebner, co-owners of Tampa Bay Club Sports.

Co-ed activities range from extremely competitive to downright laid-back. Couch potatoes would be foolish to jump into a competitive sport right away and, likewise, ladies looking for hunky company better not sign up for a team unless they're ready to play hard.

Here's an idea of the range of activities, and the skills needed to play:

PARTY TIME: Want to hit the scene, but you're more jokester than jock? Social sports such as bean-bag toss tournaments or bowling may be the trick. The former involves joining a team of two and competing for cash prizes. Bowlers have to rent those funny shoes, but the activity is enjoyed in air-conditioned comfort.

PLAYGROUND FUN: Loved kickball and dodge ball as a kid? Imagine it with grownups at a bar or local softball field. There's little skill needed for these laid-back games. Players are likely to have as much fun in the dugout or on the sidelines as they do on the playing field. Beach volleyball, played at local bars, features a relaxed atmosphere as well.

FIT AND FRIENDLY: Soccer and softball are casual by nature, but don't be surprised if occasionally you discover a former high school or college player on the recreational soccer pitch, or a softball teammate carrying a $350 bat.

JOCKS ONLY: Basketball is the only non-co-ed activity for a reason. Ballers take their game seriously. Competitive-level soccer and flag football sorts out the less-serious.

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