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Just Who Are You Anyhow?

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By STEVE OTTO

sotto@tampatrib.com

Published: March 4, 2009

"Hello Americans," as Paul Harvey, who died the other day, used to say at the beginning of his radio programs.

That always has been enough for me. As interesting as our individual heritages are, being American has seemed to me to be enough information for the census takers. It's not. Florida schoolteachers are getting forms with new federal guidelines. Every school district is required to report to the Florida Department of Education categories as currently defined by the federal government. Parents have to answer two questions: (1) Is your child Hispanic or Latino? and, (2) What is your child's race?

The answer to the first question can be "yes" if your child is of Cuban, Mexican, Puerto Rican, South or Central American, or other Spanish culture or origin, regardless of race.

For some of us who grew up in West Tampa or Ybor City, we might think that qualifies as at least some Spanish culture. So I say if you understand the delicacy of flan or the complexities of a good Cuban sandwich...

You're a what?

The second question "What is your race?" at least allows you to fill in as many boxes as apply. I think this one gets a little messy as government attempts to categorize people. American Indian or Alaskan native is a person having origins in any of the original peoples of North or South America, although just how original you have to be seems to be an unanswered question.

Having been born on a nearby island (Davis Islands) I always have considered myself a native American with, I assume, the same right to open my own casino as any other native American.

I think they might also have a problem with two other categories: 'White" and "Black or African -American." Apparently you can be white if you have origins in any of the so-called original peoples of Europe, the Middle East or North Africa. You can be black if you have origin in any of the black racial groups of Africa. I guess it might come down to who was where first and if you are more black than white or vice versa. I say, if in doubt, mark them both.

Baghdad by the Bay

If you love newspapers, last week was not a good one, with the announced closing of the Rocky Mountain News and the very real possibility that the San Francisco Chronicle would be next.

The Chronicle never has been what those who rate these sorts of things would call a "great" newspaper. It was too quirky for that. Its world and national news was, at best, average.

But what it did do was reflect a city. I only have had the opportunity to read it on occasion, but those were occasions when I could sit back with a cup of coffee and soak in the flavor of that self-centered city.

It always has had writers. Bret Harte wrote for the Chronicle. Jack London wrote for the paper. Samuel Clemens became Mark Twain when he began publishing and writing for the Chronicle.

Herb Caen, who died in 1997, was the long-time columnist for the Chronicle. He was the one who called the city he loved "Baghdad by the Bay." In his unique bits and pieces style he let you know what was happening in his city.

He once wrote that "Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything."

That's what happens when you lose something like the Chronicle. It is more than just a chronicler of the news; it is the lifeblood of a community.

Keyword: Otto Graphs, for more of Steve Otto's musings

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