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Classic Isn't A Good Fit In Baseball's New World Order

The Associated Press

Rays second baseman Akinori Iwamura gets a salute by a security officer before the World Baseball Classic game between South Korea and Japan at the Tokyo Dome.

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By MARTIN FENNELLY | The Tampa Tribune

Published: March 9, 2009

TAMPA - There are a billion or so people in China who don't care about the World Baseball Classic — and China is in the World Baseball Classic. At least it was until it got rolled by Japan and Korea, though China did beat Taiwan.

There are billions more who don't care about the WBC, either, especially with the stringent new airport security edict: Only Cuban baseball players weighing 3.5 ounces or less are allowed in carry-on baggage.

Even a couple of first-round stunners failed to rouse us from our slumber. Australia went into Mexico City, drank the water and still pounded Mexico. A day earlier, after both teams observed an emotional moment of silence for Alex Rodriguez's labrum, the Dutch toppled the mighty Dominican Republic. And they were wearing wooden spikes!

It doesn't matter. There are problems from top to bottom with this tournament. I say this despite having attended the Dominican-Venezuela game in Orlando at the inaugural WBC two years ago. There was a line of dancing women in the pathologically festive stands as I walked around the stadium. They were jumping and bumping to the beat of drums, shaking and baking. Bottom's up. Man, does the sight of a sports columnist make the ladies go crazy or what?

Yes, there are flags, there are dancers, there is passion and there is fever, but not enough to make the WBC work.

OK, it's nine flavors of nutty for Japan, defending WBC champ, which got all its players to play (which is saying something) and then went maximum-security lockdown get ready to rumble. Tampa Bay Rays second baseman Akinori Iwamura — our little Aki — is with Japan, and he hasn't written. Word is Japan played 25 exhibition games before this WBC even began. I think Team USA stretched once and cut down on sweets for a day.

That's the biggest problem with the Classic, which is anything but, and will never be anything but until all the best players from all the best baseball countries get to play, which will never happen. This isn't a labor of love, or even a labrum of love, for most countries. And can we really blame a Major League Baseball team for not wanting to see one of its stars blow out his elbow while beating Panama?

By the way, apparently you can blow out your elbow and still beat Panama. The Panamanians have already been eliminated, outscored 18-0 across losses to the Dominican Republic and Puerto Rico.

"Eighteen innings without a run — a team can't win like that," Panama manager Hector Lopez said.

Maybe they shouldn't have taunted opponents with their traditional "We Got Canal" T-shirts.

Even WBC teams that aren't the best are without their best. Take Australia, which is missing Rays fireball reliever Grant Balfour, who signed a new deal with the Rays and as such was made into being reluctant to play for his country, though the Rays never said he couldn't (wink, wink).

"I'm just sort of, you know, not playing," Balfour said. The dingo ate my bullpen! Oh, well, Australia can always turn to its endless supply of pitchers who throw 95 mph.

There is no good way to hold an international baseball tournament with Major League Baseball players, since not even close to all the best decide to play — or are allowed to play by their employers. There is no good time, either. You can't shut down the season in the middle like the NHL does every four years for the Olympics. Most of the baseball players I know can't even skate.

And we haven't even gotten to the "lax" WBC rules regarding what country you play for. I remember Mike Piazza playing for Italy last WBC, I think because he once had a slice of pizza.

Then there's A-Rod, who has already been on two different WBC rosters — ours last time, Dominican this time, though that labrum will sideline him, though his fuming Dominican teammates think it's just an excuse. This cat is a worldwide menace, I'm telling you.

That worldwide thing is also a bother. There are only 16 WBC teams. There are more than 195 countries — 196 if you count me after Thanksgiving dinner. Soccer's World Cup is basically a free-for-all, everyone in the pool. Until the WBC includes all nations, all regions, it's no friend of mine. Why, there are probably great teams we've never heard of. There's reportedly one heck of a club down in the jungles of the Amazon Basin — a nice blend of pitching, power and defense. Now if only they would stop eating their second basemen.

Too bad the WBC didn't get wise and sign T.O. or something. Interest would skyrocket. Actually, here's an idea: The first annual A-Rod I Was Young and Stupid Tournament. Teams are composed when the other 103 names on the steroid-user list are revealed, then divided based on nationality. And, by all means, guys, bring your cousins.

It wouldn't hurt the WBC if Cuba — which disappointed last WBC, not even making the championship round — started playing like the Big Red Machine of old, when the only outcome in doubt was the head count on the team bus afterward.

Cuba would be quotable like crazy. Last WBC, after a big win, all for Fidel, Cuban outfielder Frederich Cepeda went Workers of the World on us and said, "Baseball is not judged by the price of the athletes but by the heart of the people."

Beats the hell out of, "We're just taking it one revolution at a time."

It wouldn't hurt if the United States made a WBC run, either. We came up woefully short last time. Did we even make the semifinals? Imagine how a WBC win or two would perk up everyone in the unemployment lines. We'll all be dabbing our eyes with our worthless 401(k) statements. Lake Placid, here we come. Hey, was Jim Craig on a pitch count in 1980?

We're not the miracle workers here. That's why I'm pulling like crazy for Australia and the Netherlands in their next games. The Aussies face Cuba and the Dutch meet Puerto Rico. The WBC could become awfully fun. While we await Hector Lopez of Panama's quote after Panama's third and final WBC game (early pregame favorite: "Twenty-seven innings without a run — a team can't win like that."), it's on with the tournament as the world holds its breath or nose or whatever.

Anybody know the Chinese word for labrum?

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