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LINER NOTES

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The Tampa Tribune

Published: March 27, 2009

Liner Notes would like to clarify and correct a few items from previous columns.

When Liner Notes wrote that "some veteran rock 'n' roll bands should take a break," it should have read "some veteran rock 'n' roll bands should be taken off life support."

When Liner Notes wrote that "we may see the death of the recording industry in our lifetime," it should have read "we will dance the shy tuna on the recording industry's grave."

When Liner Notes wrote that the RIAA's lawsuits against alleged illegal downloaders were "wrong-headed and often cruel," it should have read "The lawsuits prove the RIAA has the soul of a pimp and the compassion of a KGB interrogator."

When Liner Notes wrote that "'American Idol' is a pox upon the culture," it should have read "The only thing keeping the producers of 'American Idol' from being prosecuted as war criminals is that no one's declared war on them. Who's with me?"

When Liner Notes wrote that "lip-syncing acts such as Britney Spears owe their audiences more," it should have read "lip-syncing acts such as Britney Spears owe their audience a pony, a new car and a year's worth of lawn maintenance."

When Liner Notes wrote that "some acts today seem to have more to do with rock star poses than with real rock music," it should have read, "You talentless hacks have no business calling yourselves musicians! You have no right to even own guitars! Quit touring! Quit recording! Quit breathing! Die! Die! Die!"

When Liner Notes said "I can't take it anymore! I don't care if I never hear another note of music or see another concert in my life. I've gotta get out of here, you hear me?! I've gotta get out of here!," it should have read, "Liner Notes looks forward to all upcoming releases and live performances, and to writing about it for all its wonderful readers."

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