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Floridians, Define yourselves

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Steve Otto

sotto@tampatrib.com

Published: May 22, 2009

It was one of those typical domestic moments.

The Frau was back with the groceries, and I was trying to get a couple of bags inside the house while bending down at the front door to shoo the cat back inside. It was when I opened my mouth to holler at the cat that I swallowed the love bugs.

It is only with love bugs that you get a two for one deal when that happens. Actually I spit them out, but I'm not sure I got both of them. I downed a quick can of root beer and I'm still not sure.

A little later, sitting in front of the tube, the weather person said a plane was being dispatched to check out the rainstorms over Florida, which had a tropical cycle look to them.

It reminded me that this not only is love bug season around here but that hurricane season is only few trips to Home Depot away.

But that's life in Florida. I got an e-mail this week from reader Richard Broye. It was a list of "What it's like to be a Floridian."

Sunshiners

To tell you the truth I've seen this list before and have no idea who put it together. But after my love bug incident and this week's pre-hurricane rains, I figured those of you who truly are Floridians might appreciate it. Here are a few samples:

1. You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.

2. A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store but everything to do with shade.

3. You've driven through Yeehaw Junction (and you know about the fake spider that drops down in the restaurant restroom).

4. You could swim before you could read.

5. You have to drive north to get to The South.

6. You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.

7. You know what a snowbird is and when they'll leave.

8. Flip-flops are everyday wear.

9. Sweet tea can be served at any meal.

10. You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the good rides.

11. You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.

Gently falling heatflakes

12. You've worn shorts and used the AC on Christmas.

13. Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include: various fish, NRA, NASCAR, Go Gators and a Confederate flag.

14. You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, and Withlacoochee.

15. A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

16. You get annoyed at tourists who feed sea gulls.

17. You have a drawer full of bathing suits and one sweatshirt.

18. An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.

19. You were 12 before you ever saw snow, or you still haven't.

20. Socks are only for bowling.

Got any more? I'll bet you do. Send them to me at

sotto@tampatrib.com.

Keyword: Otto Graphs, for more of Steve Otto's musings.

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