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29 gifts helped change her life

Photo from Cami Walker

Instead of feeling sorry for herself, Cami Walker decided to give to others. In return, she helped herself.

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By MICHELLE BEARDEN

mbearden@tampatrib.com

Published: November 7, 2009

We've all been there. A run of bad luck, a medical mishap, a change in fortune. One minute we're up and life is grand; then a dramatic turn of events and we're in the dumps.

How many times have we heard that we're not promised tomorrow? And if it does come, today's sunshine could turn into a downpour.

That's what happened to Cami Walker. Then she got a prescription from a spiritual advisor that changed her life.

Maybe you've caught the buzz on "29 Gifts: How a Month of Giving Can Change Your Life" (Lifelong Books, $20). Since Walker's appearance on the "Today" show two weeks ago, her inspirational story is making the rounds at light speed.

Why are people so intrigued with this? Because her message is perfect for these uncertain times. For those of us immersed in pity parties because things aren't going our way, Cami's book offers a way to transform our lives and help the people around us.

The best part: It doesn't have to cost a dime.

First, how it all began. The photos from the wedding in Mexico show a glowing bride on a beautiful beach. It was a perfect moment in the life of this happily active woman, the creative director for a San Francisco ad agency.

Within a month, the bottom fell out.

Although she had suffered from some physical symptoms for years - fatigue, occasional tingling and numbness in her limbs - the pain exploded dramatically almost overnight. She hadn't even finished writing her thank-you notes.

She lost the vision in her right eye and most of the use of her hands.

Multiple sclerosis

After countless medical tests, doctors delivered a devastating diagnosis: multiple sclerosis. The prospect of dealing with an incurable neurological condition that leaves some sufferers immobilized shocked and frightened her.

The next two years were a nightmarish blur of pain buffered only by an addiction to prescription drugs. After Walker and her husband, Mark, a voice actor, moved to Los Angeles, she could no longer work. Fatigue and depression kept her in bed for days. Finally, the night before she entered the hospital for an eight-day detox program, Walker called Mbali Creazzo, a South African medicine woman who she counted among her spiritual advisors.

"I was in the middle of a pity party and just wanted a shoulder to cry on," she recalls.

Instead, Mbali told her friend to stop thinking of herself, quit dwelling on her pain and give 29 gifts to 29 people in 29 days.

"I can hardly get out of bed, or pay all my medical expenses, and you're telling me to do what?" Cami said incredulously. Mbali said that's exactly what she needed. You're feeding the disease by giving it so much attention, she told her, when it could be given elsewhere.

The ground rules were simple. Don't plan the "gift." Let it happen spontaneously. Just go through the day and look for opportunities to present themselves. It doesn't have to cost money - in fact, that's preferable. And most important, don't expect anything in return.

Cami didn't take the "prescription" seriously until she returned home from detox and started writing in the journal she had kept for years. She opened a page and found the entry she had scribbled in green ink nearly two weeks before: Give away 29 gifts in 29 days.

"What do I have to lose?" she thought to herself.

Giving and receiving

Turns out, she had much to gain. For the next month, she stuck to the directive, giving sea shells she found on a beach to a little girl, giving a belly rub to her cat, putting five quarters in a parking meter for a friend and buying lunch for a homeless man.

Mbali's promise that she would learn a great lesson came true: The best way to attract abundance in your own life is to be in a perpetual state of giving and gratitude.

Walker's journey was supposed to be a personal one. But after documenting her experience, she sent an e-mail to 29 friends asking them to take the challenge. She attended a conference for writers and came away with an agent for a book project. A publisher bought the proposal in just four days.

The movement - yes, it has become that - now has its own Web site at www.29gifts.org with 6,105 members. Participants post their own stories, artwork and photos. They share ideas. And with the collective clout of this online community, thousands of dollars have been raised to feed children in Africa, pay medical expenses for people without health insurance and fund several humanitarian efforts.

As for Walker, she now has a contract for two more memoirs and an option for the movie rights for this book. And she's had three clear MRIs since she embarked on her 29 gifts crusade, which she continues on a daily basis.

"I don't claim this cured my disease. I take medication and I live a very healthy life," she says. "But all that depression, pain and fatigue, all that self-absorbed behavior, it's all gone now. I wake up every day happy and excited. I can't help but believe there's a connection here."

Don't take Walker's word for it. Try it yourself and see. How can it hurt?

BETTER THAN STOREBOUGHT

Don't have any extra cash but want to participate in the 29 Gifts giving campaign? A reader on the www.29Gifts.org site offered these eight ideas.

!1) THE GIFT OF LISTENING But you must REALLY listen.!No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response. Just listening.

2) THE GIFT OF AFFECTION!Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on !the back and hand-holds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.

3) THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER. Funny pictures. Share articles, funny stories and funny greetings. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."

4) THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet. A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime, and may even change a life.

5) THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT A simple and sincere, "You look great in red," "You did a super job" or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day.

6) THE GIFT OF A FAVOR Every day, go out of your way to do something kind. Helping an elderly person cross the road can be nice.

7) THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.

8) THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone. Really it's not that hard to say, "hello" or "thank you."

"What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others." - Pericles

Michelle Bearden can be reached at (813) 259-7613.

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