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Let Rush buy the Rams – and make him watch 'em, too

The Associated Press

Sorry, Bucs fans, it's true. The Rams, at 0-5, are the worst team in the NFL.

By MARTIN FENNELLY | The Tampa Tribune

Published: October 14, 2009

Updated: 10/14/2009 06:34 pm

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Rush Limbaugh

I don't see what the deal is with the Rush Limbaugh haters out there.

They don't know a good thing when they see it.

They are hopping mad because the nation's conservative gauleiter is trying to become an owner in the National Football League.

Now, everybody put down their torches and pitchforks for a moment.

It's the Rams.

Rush Limbaugh, American success story, wants to buy the St. Louis Rams.

As far as I'm concerned, he can have them.

I wouldn't wish the Rams on my worst enemy, but if Rush happens to be your worst enemy, well, your ship has come in.

The Rams are the worst team in football.

Sorry, Bucs fans, it's true.

The Rams are 0-5 this season. After losing their final 10 games in 2008, they were the sleeping giant as the Lions grabbed all the headlines with 0-16.

The Rams have scored 34 points in 2009.

Have at it, Rush!

The NFL players union is up in arms, as is Rush's old pal, the overrated and preferentially treated Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb, who isn't about to tolerate any NFL player being a lawn jockey for Rush.

McNabb and the others are simply exercising their freedom of speech, the same freedom that has, in all its glory, allowed a thrice-divorced ex-junkie to become a moral compass.

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell says Rush will have to change his tune. Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay says he cannot conceive of ever voting to approve Rush as Rams owner.

But let's get serious.

It's not as if Rush is trying to get on the Supreme Court or "Dancing With the Stars" or something important.

He wants to be an NFL owner, for crying out loud.

You think these guys embody all that is good? I mean, they're barracudas.

Remember, this is the league where former Redskins owner George Preston Marshall was fabulously racist, keeping blacks off his roster year after year. This is the league that actually needed the "Rooney Rule" to accelerate minority hiring by owners.

And this is the league where Irsay's father cared so very much about the public good that he took the Colts out of Baltimore under the cover of darkness, like any good thief.

I mean, Hugh Culverhouse owned an NFL team.

Look at the Rams themselves. One of them is Leonard Little, who 11 years ago, while driving drunk, was involved in a crash that killed a woman in the other car. Little did 90 days in jail, probation and 1,000 hours of community service after pleading guilty to involuntary manslaughter

Rush can't belong to that club?

Who are we kidding?

Heck, Rush and the NFL might be perfect together. Think about it – an owner who has been addicted to painkillers and undergone random drug testing. He could connect with today's NFL player better than any owner in history.

My guess is that it will never come to that.

There is no way Rush Limbaugh will ever own an NFL team – unless, of course, he comes up with the most money.

Then, for three hours every Sunday, he'd have to watch his Rams.

He'd be absolutely miserable.

Hey, Rush haters, take it where you can get it.

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