Comic's best pickup line led to matrimony

John Heffron is wondering what life-altering event is in store for him when he returns to the Tampa Improv for gigs today through Sunday.

"It'll be interesting to see what happens," Heffron said in a telephone interview from Los Angeles. "I'll never forget what happened to me the last time I was at the Improv."

The charismatic comic met his wife eight years ago during his engagement there.

"She was with the construction company that helped build the Improv," Heffron recalled. "The owner told her not to talk to comics. He said they'll just try to pick you up."

Heffron proved him correct. But it was all about love. The pair met just before Heffron went national by winning the first "Last Comic Standing" in 2004.

"It's funny since I was in Tampa visiting her when the 'Last Comic Standing' auditions were about to happen in Nashville," Heffron said. "When I left to go to Michigan (for shows), I decided to stop in Nashville, since it was on the way, to audition. It worked out well."

However, the fledgling NBC show didn't pay off monetarily like recent editions of "Last Comic Standing."

"It was old school back then," Heffron said. "I think the winner gets something like $250,000. I got about $4,700. I was like, 'I got no money and I like it.' Totally old school."

But "Last Comic Standing" helped launch Heffron's career.

Heffron has had his Comedy Central Presents special, appeared on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" and hit the road as part of the "Real Men of Comedy Tour" with Charlie Murphy and Joe Rogan. Heffron, who is in his late 30s, was more than qualified to be part of the "Real Men" tour.

"I had the credentials," Heffron said. "I'm like Yoda for guys in their 20s. I lived through things like a real man so they should take notes. I'm a prophet. The smart guys listen and then there are the guys who don't listen because they're text messaging throughout the show, hoping some girl is going to see them later. If they don't' think I'm funny, well, they weren't paying attention."

Heffron is pleased that he doesn't have to cruise for ladies since he's married to a woman who lets him be a guy. "My wife is fine with my falling asleep with bagel bites on my stomach while I'm watching golf on television. There's nothing as soothing as the golf announcer. That just puts me to sleep."

Like most comics, Heffron is self-involved. Most of his comedy pertains to his free-wheeling lifestyle. "I'm always thinking about myself," Heffron said. "I realize I'm getting older. I figured out that I can't wear American Eagle clothing but I am too young for Tommy Bahama style clothes. I'm a tweener on my way back to Tampa. I can't wait to get there and see if anything changes dramatically in my life once I'm there."

COMEDY PREVIEW

John Heffron

WHEN: 8 and 10:30 p.m. today, 7:30 and 10 p.m. Saturday and 7 p.m. Sunday

WHERE: Tampa Improv, 1600 E.Eighth Ave., Tampa.

COST: $17 Sunday, $19 Friday, $20 Saturday; (813) 864-4000