Miss America pageant limps on as program

The last time Miss America was relevant was in 1984 when Vanessa Williams became the first black woman to win the crown.

She is the last Miss America that most people can name.

That's because Williams went on to have a successful career as a singer and actress after giving up the crown when some nude modeling photos were made public. It was a scandal that rocked the pageant world.

Now it might be getting harder to find beauty contestants who don't have provocative photos in their past.

Williams is still in the public eye, currently playing a villainous vamp on ABC's "Ugly Betty."

Meanwhile, the "Miss America" pageant limps on, surviving as a curious anachronism.

The off-camera preliminary events began Monday in Las Vegas and continue all this week.

The 89th pageant airs at 8 p.m. Saturday on TLC with Mario Lopez as host. Among the judges are über conservative Rush Limbaugh, "American Idol" finalist Brooke White and comic Paul Rodriguez.

In an attempt to arouse viewer interest, TLC will air "Miss America: Behind the Curtain" at 10 p.m. Friday. Clinton Kelly of "What Not to Wear" will host the special that includes more of the swimsuit competition. Viewers will have an opportunity to vote four contestants into the top 15.

OUT OF TOUCH: Gone are the days when this event drew 30 million viewers. Last year's telecast drew 3.5 million.

The Miss America pageant has been slightly eclipsed by the Miss USA pageant thanks to Donald Trump. He owns Miss USA and managed to get it on NBC, where it was watched by 5 million people last year.

Miss USA was memorable only because of a flap over Miss California Carrie Prejean saying that she opposed same-sex marriage. It was later exposed that she was not opposed to cosmetic breast enhancement.

These pageants need controversy to get attention because most of us just don't care about them anymore.

Miss America officials say their contest is not a beauty pageant. It's a "scholarship program." However, it is most often won by attractive women who average 5 feet, 8 inches in height, weigh no more than 110 pounds and never have to reveal their IQ scores.

So does Miss America represent the ideal American woman? According to the rules of conduct, she must not be, or ever have been, married or pregnant; she must never have posed for nude photographs; and she must never have done anything "illegal, immoral or dishonest."

The contestants must not drink, smoke, gamble, "party," or hold hands with, kiss or hug any male in public, and must be chaperoned at all times during the competition. The winner has to keep up that Victorian lifestyle during her reign.

BIG BOMB: In ranking "TV's 50 Biggest Bombs," the current issue of "Entertainment Weekly" picks "putting Jay Leno at 10 p.m." as No. 1.

Leno would be on my list but maybe not No 1. How about Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction? Or Rosie O'Donnell's attempt at a variety show; Dan Rather's failed attempt to expose George W. Bush's questionable military service; the Balloon Boy fiasco; Bobby Ewing's "dream" season of "Dallas"; CBS canceling "The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour;" "Cop Rock," "Joanie Loves Chachi," "Supertrain, "Manimal," "Homeboys From Outer Space" and "My Mother the Car."

TUNE IN TONIGHT: "The Good Wife," 10 p.m., CBS

While representing the daughter of a partner at the firm, Alicia finds herself attracted to her co-counsel (Chris Bowers of "Rescue Me").