Can't decide what to do this week? Don't worry, we've got it figured out for you. Here are our editors' picks from the swashbuckling mayhem of the Gasparilla Pirate Festival to the sweet delicacies of the Kumquat Festival.
SHIP TO SHORE
(Friday to Sunday)
A full-size replica of a 19th century armed privateer ship is sailing into Tampa Bay for the weekend. The 122-foot wooden ship "Lynx" will be docked at the Harborage Marina in St. Petersburg, offering a family friendly alternative to the Gasparilla Pirate Fest on the other side of the bay. Tours are $6. Two-hour sailing excursions are $35 to $65.
(Friday to Sunday)
Drool over the booths upon booths of home ideas from furniture, to decorating accessories to landscaping ideas to remodeling options at the Tampa Bay Home Show. There's also a full lineup of entertainment and local home experts, as well as a seminar to educate you on do-it-yourself home improvements. Admission is free.
PLAY AT THE TABLE
A heartbroken millionaire American expatriate in 1960s Paris wants to be allowed to die of starvation at the world's greatest restaurant in "An Empty Plate in the Café du Grand Boeuf," debuting at freeFall Theatre Company in St. Pete. Tickets run $37 to $44.
The Gasparilla Pirate Festival makes its yearly return to the streets of Tampa as "pirate ships" sail the Seddon Channel into downtown for the pirate invasion (11:30 a.m.),before a pirate parade stumbles down Bayshore Boulevard (2 p.m.) and bands bring live music to the post-parade street festival at Curtis Hixon Park.
THE MIGHTY KUMQUAT
The smallest of citrus fruits gets its due respect at the annual Kumquat Festival in Dade City which boasts midway rides, food vendors and, of course, a host of sweet delicacies made with the celebrated fruit. Admission is free.
No need to be a cynical girl, or boy, when veteran singer, songwriter and guitarist Marshall Crenshaw croons his classic hits and more as he hits the Skipper's Smokehouse stage. Bottle Rockets also is on the bill. Tickets are $15 to $18.
BLUE COLLAR LAUGHS
Hard-drinking, foul-mouthed good ol' boy Ron White brings his southern storyteller brand of standup comedy to two performances at Ruth Eckerd Hall in Clearwater. Tickets range from $49 to $59.
METAL GO BYE BYE
If you've never experienced the Christian metal onslaught of platinum-selling locals Underoath, this is your final chance. The band plays the final show of its farewell tour at Jannus Landing. The show is technically sold out, but tickets are still available – for widely varying prices – through online resellers.
Pirate costumes are encouraged for this post-Gasparilla version of the free, monthly Pub Bike Ride sponsored by Velo Champ bike shop. This one departs from Pour House at 6 p.m. and stops at three more Tampa bars offering specials and raffle prizes at each stop. The Happiness Machine will provide live, post-ride music at The Hub.
OL' DIRTY DJ
The weekly outdoor barbecue party at Crowbar known as Ol' Dirty Sundays gets a special guest visit from world famous hip-hop pioneer, DJ Red Alert, known for helping to break old-school artists such as A Tribe Called Quest, Queen Latifah and Black Sheep.
Amazing athletes will take your breath away with stunts and mind-blowing moves in the off-Broadway show "Traces" catapulting into the Straz Center. Tickets start at $31.50.
We dare you not to want to plies, pirouette and leap when Tony Award-winning musical "Billy Elliot," about a boy who discovers his talent for ballet while battling adversity, dances into Ruth Eckerd Hall. Tickets range from $50 to $70.
Prepare for an evening of gritty, celebratory rock 'n' roll as Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes play the Capitol Theatre in Clearwater. The New Jersey natives have been serving up solid pop-rock tunes for 40 years, and aren't slowing down. Tickets are $39 and $55.
ON THE CHEAP
Tram nature tour: Enjoy an hour-long narrated tour of the park's natural areas, including a journey into the remote areas where wildlife can be spotted; 1 p.m. Saturday, Sunday and Tuesday; $5 adults, $3 children age 6 to 12, plus $6 per vehicle admission to park; Highlands Hammock State Park, 5931 Hammock Road, Sebring; (863) 386-6094
Zumba for Hope: Dance your butt off at this two-hour fundraiser to benefit Tampa Bay NEDA; 6 p.m. Monday; $5 students, $10 non-students; USF Marshall Student Center Ballroom, 4202 E. Fowler Ave., Tampa; (813) 974-4936
Ybor City Saturday Market: Shop local artisans and foods among the history of Ybor City; 9 a.m to 3 p.m. Saturday; free; Centennial Park, 1800 E. Eighth Ave., Tampa; (813) 241-2442