Underbelly Tour at the beach finds unexpected food gems in Pinellas

From the outside, Mahuffer’s bar looks lovely and quaint with its wood-shingled entrance framed by a delicate veil of blooming bougainvillea.

Inside, Mahuffer’s looks like the inside of Charlie Sheen’s subconscious.

Mildewed padded bras dangle low from an already claustrophobic ceiling. Dollar bills autographed with obscene salutations and stapled to the walls flutter in the humid breeze. A silhouetted, definitely-not-safe-for-work Kama Sutra progression frames a support beam in one sitting room. The lone pool table has more pen-stained graffiti than a bus-station bathroom.

The bow of a beached boat juts from a wall, making it a suitable counter to rest one of the high-octane, lip-scorching bloody marys mixed by Sherri, the bartender on duty this Saturday morning. A conga line of olives skewered on a toothpick rests on the rim of the plastic cup. Pickled asparagus tips dangle over the side like dreadlocks.

There may be no better place to kick off another edition of the Tampa Underbelly Tour.

Its motto: Discover great food in unexpected places.

The go-round in October involved a crawl with a group of local food lovers along a diverse stretch of Waters Avenue that yielded Puerto Rican, Vietnamese, Uruguayan and Russian grub. Other expeditions along Nebraska and Armenia avenues explored great restaurants in parts of the city known for things other than food.

For the summer, we thought it would be fun to take a group of 10 brave local food fans from Clearwater to Pass-a-Grille in search of places with something unexpected to offer. Hence, the launch from Mahuffer’s.

Forty years ago, the beaches were choked with funky drunk havens like this. Places such as The Deck, The Driftwood Inn, the Bamboo Beer Garden and The Pub were plentiful before public propriety and property values soared. Now only a few remain. Mahuffer’s existence, complete with broken-down vehicles along Gulf Boulevard, thumbs its nose at the surrounding well-manicured beach condominiums.

We picked Mahuffer’s because of its claim as the “WURST PLACE ON THE BEECH!” with “WARM BEER AND LOUSY FOOD.” By the time we got there, the word food had been covered with spray paint.

Which was fine. Because the mule kick of the bloody marys could have been an entrée on its own.

Once the buzz subsided, we headed south in search of more grub.

BEACH TOUR

Stop No. 2: Amish Creamery

You might question why an Amish ice-cream shop is a short buggy ride from the Gulf of Mexico.

Or you might want to just relax and enjoy that it’s there. What you might not know is that a large community of Amish and Mennonites lives in Sarasota and operates several beloved restaurants in the area. This shop is an extension of those businesses.

The Creamery looks like any other ice-cream shop from the outside. Inside, telltale signs are everywhere. Big Olaf Amish ice cream is in the showcase freezer. Small shoofly pies by Dutch Heritage rest on shelves in an adjacent storeroom along with loaves of fresh bread and jars of pickled red beet eggs by Jake & Amos. A tall shampoo bottle-looking container reads, “Proven Amish Formula — STOPS LEG & FOOT CRAMPS IN ABOUT ONE MINUTE.”

The hit of this visit: scoops of Trashcan flavor ice cream, with bits of Oreos, chocolate flakes, M&M’s, peanut-butter cups, Heath bars and Snickers in vanilla ice cream. It’s said that a hit of crystal meth is immediately addictive. This has to run a close second.

“Curse you, Trashcan ice cream,” Underbelly participant Sandy D’elosua says as she scrapes the bottom of her ice-cream cup. “Curse you.”

Stop No. 3:

Beach Sno Balls

Frozen-treat spots are as plentiful on the beaches as tacky souvenirs. But sno balls are rare.

That’s what the owners of this snack shack thought when they moved to Treasure Island in 1999 from New Orleans, which has a tradition of serving shaved ice with gourmet flavorings. They couldn’t believe Florida didn’t have a place like Pandoras or SnoWizard in the Big Easy.

Unlike its ice cubelike snow-cone cousin, a fluffy, New Orleans-style sno ball has flavorings that actually mix with the shavings instead of sinking to the bottom of the cup. Think of it as an ice-cream cone and an avalanche having a baby. And then poured condensed milk on top.

Not all the babies are pretty. Among the 55 types on the menu, a few freakishly fun flavors stick out: Hulk and Frog-n-Blender, to name a couple. We couldn’t resist a vividly red sample of Sharks Blood. For a shark attack in a cup, it was a pretty sweet, berry-flavored treat.

Stop No. 4:

European Delicatessen

Treasure Island is known for many things. Eastern European foods is not one of them. That is why this strip-mall storefront was such a great Underbelly find.

One step through the door and it felt as if the group was shopping in Minsk. An entire wall was covered by grocery shelves loaded with imported cookies, pickled goods, teas, chocolates and breads. The other side held dry sausages, mackerel and assorted delicious desserts.

A freezer case offered a mind-jarring array, from Russian butter to frozen sea buckthorn berries. The cashier counter was like an Eastern bloc Willy Wonka dream. Chocolates in the shape of a Russian nesting doll were as delicious as they were adorable.

And as with most things European, there were adult beverages.

“This wine was favorite of Josef Stalin,” store owner Tatiana told us, holding a bottle that looked as if it were covered in moss. Wait. Was that a good thing?

“He was a bad man but had good taste in wine,” she said.

Stop No. 5: Steam

You’ll trip across lots of coffee shops along the beaches. What you won’t find are places as warm and comfy as Ruthie Buxbaum’s shop — or ones with a menu as diverse.

Buxbaum opened Steam in January at the elbow intersection of 75th Avenue and Gulf Boulevard in St. Pete Beach. With help from her children, she keeps customers well-caffeinated with coffee, espresso and teas, and well-fed with book-thick omelets and still-warm homemade muffins.

What you wouldn’t expect is a delicious bowl of vichyssoise served with a panini with brie, fresh tomato and basil. Or veggie sauté with hummus and chips. Or crunchy bruschetta smeared with warm garlic.

Speaking of panini, the Mediterranean lemon chicken sandwich she made was one of the best things ever on an Underbelly tour. Up until she served an Ice Cream Dream espresso smoothie. That took top honors.

“It’s my favorite coffee shop ever,” one customer told me. “I’d come in here every day if I could.”

Stop No. 6: Agave Mexican Restaurant

What we expected to find: authentic Mexican food. A friend who works for a nearby restaurant on St. Pete Beach suggested our group stop in for a taste of either the fish tacos made with Baja-style ingredients or the shredded tomatillo pork. What we got was so much more.

A quick count of the list on the back of the menu showed that the bar in this tiny restaurant stocks 53 premium tequilas. How to pick?

Just ask Nina Madison, who owns Agave with her husband, Richard. A simple question about styles prompted her to launch an illuminating 20-minute tutorial.

She could have tagged us with a high bill by breaking out shots of expensive Mexican hooch. Instead, she showed us how to take one shot of moderately priced Jose Cuervo Reserva de la Familia and enjoy it multiple ways by pairing it individually with lime, orange, salt and a strawberry mixer.

At that moment, the tequila heavens parted and sombrero-wearing angels sang.

It made us thirsty for one of Agave’s signature margaritas. It made us want to celebrate every night at Agave as if it were Cinco de Mayo.

Stop No. 7:

Evander Beer

Eighth Avenue runs east-west a few hundred yards like a rib around the torso of Pass-a-Grille. On that main street you’ll find a few quaint storefronts. There’s a rowdy biker bar and a fine-dining restaurant.

And a jewelry shop that has a little something extra.

Ring the doorbell. Go inside.

You’ll find the contemporary jewelry collection of Evander Preston, the often-described mad genius of Pass-a-Grille who designs earrings, bracelets, pendants, necklaces and rings in a small studio behind the showroom. Jimmy Buffett is a fan. So is Lauren Bacall.

You’ll also find his entire collection of art and artifacts, gathered over the years, mounted on the walls and ceiling like an eccentric Smithsonian. Guns hang next to tribal masks. Crucifixes hug a wall near a forest of dangling Chinese lanterns. A rickshaw with a life-size bearded Evander mannequin rests in one room. Right next to the silver skull-turned-urn the artist made for the ashes of a friend who passed away.

You’ll also be standing in the world headquarters of Evander Beer.

Ask nicely and assistant Eddie St. Clair will pour you a sample of the German-style pilsner from the tap in the kitchen. Cool and crisp, the beer is light and mildly hoppy. You can now find Evander Beer in stores throughout Pinellas and Hillsborough counties, but drinking it in the eccentric confines of the jewelry store certainly enhances the effect.

When asked why he got into making beer, the soft-spoken, long-bearded artist blinked and paused for a moment.

“Because it’s fun,” he said. “People are way too serious these days.”

Stop No. 8: Vida de Café

Another discovery on Eighth Avenue was this outstanding vegan, vegetarian, organic and raw restaurant only a few dozen steps from the sea oats and sugar-sand beach of Pass-a-Grille.

Kristi Capone, photographer and owner of Milkshake Studio in St. Petersburg, was the only vegetarian in our group, so we relied on her judgment when it came to menu selection.

We opted for red pepper hummus served with onion chips, and mini tacos made with romaine leaves. Instead of meat, almonds and walnuts, cilantro cashew cheese, pico de gallo and sliced avocado filled the tacos.

We also tried the vegetarian sushi. Substituting for fish and rice in the raw seaweed wrap were carrots, avocado and a ginger almond pâté stuffed with spinach. An umeboshi chili dipping sauce was served on the side. For a sweet treat, we threw down a chocolate banana smoothie.

The highest accolade we can offer is that this was a feast fit for a meat-eater. It’s a backhanded compliment, to be sure, but one full of satisfaction after a full day of dining on everything from shark’s blood to Russian honey cake.

As if we needed another reason to stay at the beach.