Kick the cranks in your life to the curb

My friends are already complaining about the holidays. They loathe the inevitable weight gain, spending sprees, and parties with people who are drunk and hostile.

Let's skip the diet advice and austerity measures. Instead, let's focus on the intolerable people in our lives.

Why do we hang out with them?

Maybe we think our presence at gatherings will improve careers or trust fund options. Maybe we tell ourselves, "I'm required to put up with his bad behavior because we came from the same parents."

Years ago, I was hospitalized with a bad case of C Diff, and I had one of those epiphanies. Near-death experiences often trigger life-changing moments. I decided the time had finally come to end some relationships.

That's right. I kicked people to the curb, despite shared bloodlines and/or a fondness for stout beer. I now spend my time with people who are kind and loving. People who see the best in me and themselves.

I'm encouraging you to do the same.

This decision might shrink your inner circle, but you will feel a huge amount of relief walking away from cruel and unusual people. Unload nasty siblings, in-laws, acquaintances, and long-term friends. If dad regularly belittles and ignores you, cut him loose. If old friends repeatedly exclude you from events, then tag you in pictures as the garbage can, kick 'em out.

When did people get so mean? Misery, sadness, and a lack of good quality undergarments are to blame. Perhaps folks aren't mean as much as they're unhappy . Remember that scene in "The Big Chill" when Meg Tilly says, "I don't know that many happy people. How do they act?" That was the late 1980s, before retirement meant living with grown kids who can't find a job. Times are much tougher today. Perhaps we should allow loved ones to take out their frustrations on us.

No. It feels good to stand up for yourself. You should try it. Let cruel people contend with themselves in prisons of their own making.

Living a healthy and positive life isn't possible while we're surrounded by negativity. Smaller circles are better circles, especially when renewed love vibes bring in others of the same persuasion.

Don't be so attached to anyone that you'll put up with abuse.

Conflict makes for great movies and books, but real life is more tolerable as a comedy rather than drama. Life is rough enough without a mom rooting for your demise, a "best" friend judging every action, and a brother-in-law sending passive-aggressive text messages. I get hate mail from strangers and attend Little League practice with my kids. I'm aware not everyone's a fan.

But only fans should be allowed inside our lives. For the holidays and beyond.