Make sure your doctor is part of your caring team

There were many hard lessons I had to learn as my father's caregiver while he suffered from Alzheimer's disease. One example that stands out is the hardship of keeping doctor appointments. I don't believe we ever had even one go smoothly.

Once I scheduled an appointment for myself at the same time, since both of our doctors were in the same building. Big mistake. I had Dad checked in to see his physician first, and then I asked the nurse to keep an eye on him while I walked down the hall to my examination room. When I returned, Dad was nowhere to be found! I found him roaming the parking lot, a dangerous place for anyone with dementia.

The anxiety that results from a foray like this can last for days.

My advice is this: If possible, have a third party accompany you to appointments. This way, if you need to speak with the doctor in private or use the bathroom alone, the extra person can attend to your loved one.

Another concern I have is a common complaint I hear from Alzheimer's caregivers: "I'm not receiving enough help from our doctor." I understand their vexation. I switched doctors several times. I think that since there is no cure, some physicians become blasé about care. They are not aggressive enough. They don't seem to realize that there are two people in need of help: the patient and the caregiver.

But it is difficult changing to a new doctor. There's a feeling of security in staying with the same one for a lengthy period of time. And there is also a concern about hurting the doctor's feelings after building a doctor-patient relationship. You will need to get over this.

If it should become necessary to find a new doctor, be sure that expectations can be reasonably met. Caregivers become overtired and worn down, so only make this decision with careful thought when well rested.

Be aware that changing physicians will be time consuming and may incur additional costs, such as copying and transferring medical files, along with requiring new lab tests.

A primary care physician should be able to handle most of your needs; however, should you need a specialist for other medical concerns, neurologists, geriatric psychiatrists and geriatricians all receive training in the evaluation and treatment of memory disorders. If you're looking for a memory assessment clinic, contact your local Alzheimer's Association Chapter for a list of doctors, tests and other helpful information.

My suggestion is to see whether you can iron out things with your doctor first before switching. Remember any type of change is difficult for an Alzheimer's patient. Ask for a moment alone with your physician to explain how you feel and what changes need to be made to best care for your patient.

If your doctor isn't willing to listen and consider your concerns, you have your answer. Find one who will.