Aging: Hairy, scary and a few strange twists

As we leave 2011 behind, I thought it might be fun to chronicle all the ways my body stopped working properly this year.

As I get older, this list will grow. Maybe we can look back on my good old days now, when the worst moment involved an ill-timed sneeze and white pants.

OK, perhaps it's a bit soon. Surely the early 40s are the calm before the storm. But there is no denying a few more wrinkles here and faster-growing gray hairs there. But there are other, more subtle ways that getting older creeps up.

• I now endure random pulsing and twitching. This happens at night before I fall asleep, during a business meeting before the caffeine kicks in, and lots of moments in between. I feel a little quiver in my right leg. Or perhaps my left thumb starts moving a little. Too bad I don't believe in Satan or exorcisms.

• Chin hairs. Never good news.

• I'm already holding things at arm's length in order to see them. This is the new normal. Downside: Younger friends make fun of me. Upside: Magnifying mirrors aren't nearly as frightening.

• Every song I made out to in college is now considered classic rock.

• I involuntarily listen during pharmaceutical commercials.

• Rice cakes are now a tasty treat. Enough said.

• "Hangover 2" wasn't remotely funny.

• Morning cocktails once involved vodka. Now they involve pineapple and prune juice.

• Adult-onset allergies are a lot like adult acne, but with headaches and sinus pressure. I've been known to tackle all three with an anti-aging mud mask and wonder out loud, "Who's bringing sexy back?"

• Flossing my teeth has become a horrific experience. What the heck died in there?

• I was just beginning to get Andy Rooney.

• I have accepted that I will feel tired almost 25 percent of the time.

• There are medical studies on my age group every week, and the prognosis is often incontinence and death.

• I can see the day coming when relaxing vacations might be enjoyable.

• Suddenly, I like coffee. While vacationing in New York City with my family, with zero personal space and honking horns at all hours of the night, my mom bought something called a peppermint mocha latte. Two sips later and I could walk at a pace I hadn't kept since Clinton was in office. Heaven in a cup.

Can't wait to see what falls apart next. Happy New Year!