According to the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, there are two definitions for the word curmudgeon:
1. An ill-tempered person full of resentment and stubborn notions; or, my personal favorite, 2. A crusty irascible cantankerous old person full of stubborn ideas.
Gee, I love the sound of that.
The truth is that some things do deserve a good rant. One in particular that I've found popping up in my conversations in the past few weeks is the notion that you are no longer a caregiver once your loved one is living in a long-term care facility.
A reporter recently related this point to me in a television interview. I found it surprising, but I took as an opportunity to help disabuse his audience of the notion. It was interesting, though, that when I shared the comments with some folks who work in healthcare, expecting them to concur with my position, they tended to agree with the reporter.
So I am here to set the record straight. Although more than 90 percent of care takes place at home, you do not stop being a caregiver once your loved one is living in a long-term facility. You simply have enlarged your loved one's professional care team. You are still the manager of services, but now you need to work with the facility staff to ensure the best possible care.
The staff needs and should want your input. Make sure those caregivers see your dad as Pete from St. Petersburg who loved to paint, or your mom as Tammy from Temple Terrace who loved to tango, rather than just "patient in bed 2-B". It helps to paint a much more complete and loving picture of your family member (even if he once was known to be a bit of a curmudgeon).
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