Concerned parents should pencil in time for kids

Feeling sad? Try blowing bubbles.

Simple things like bubbles, coloring, drawing pictures and play acting can help you feel better - and help your kids feel better.

And you may be amazed at what you discover. Ask your child to draw a picture of everyone in the family doing something. If your daughter has Mommy and Daddy and brother all playing together and she's sitting alone, she may be feeling isolated. If your son draws a picture that has people showing lots of teeth, he may be feeling aggressive. Is there a lot of heavy shading? That can be a sign of anxiety, says Jennifer Baggerly, a licensed mental health counselor and associate professor at the University of South Florida.

On Feb. 4, she began hosting a 10-week play therapy class for parents, and she'll be teaching some of her techniques at the Children's Festival at USF from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Saturday, March 6.

"Some (parents) have children with severe behavioral problems where they have to restrain the child from causing damage in the house. Some of them just want to have a better relationship with their daughter before she goes into her teenage years and starts getting interested in boys. Some have preschool children and are recovering from a divorce. Some are just here for prevention, because they don't have any problems now but they want to have a stronger relationship with their child," Baggerly said.

Baggerly has traveled around the globe, using play therapy to help children cope with the 2004 tsunami and Hurricane Katrina. More recently, she helped a teenage survivor of the Haiti earthquake and local children dealing with another crisis: homelessness.

"It goes back to really establishing routines," Baggerly said. "For example, giving thanks at every meal. At every bedtime, have a story. With every morning, start off with a happy song. Establish a routine so the child knows what to expect."

If the rules at Grandma's house are different, Baggerly says, have a family meeting so everybody knows the new guidelines. "Maybe you can't jump on Grandma's couch, but she does have a backyard where you can jump."

If you're thinking, "We're lucky. We haven't lost our jobs, and we haven't lost our house," don't underestimate the stress your children may be feeling still. They may have classmates or friends who have had to change their lifestyle dramatically, and are scared it will happen to them, too.

"If they have to cut back on swimming or gymnastics, they start to think, 'Uh oh, my family is in trouble, too,'" Baggerly said. "The first step is to recognize their anxiety and then support them through extra cuddle time, and also clearly and accurately explaining what's going on."

Help them use these four powerful sentences. "I am sad. I am happy. I am mad. I am scared." Then, as the parent, learn to read their facial expressions. If your children's eyebrows point down, they may be angry even if they don't verbalize it. If their eyebrows are arched high, they may be scared.

The key is to learn why they're feeling the way they are. Sometimes it's hard to put into words. That's when play therapy can really make a difference.

HOW TRAUMA CAN AFFECT CHILDREN

Watch for these signs:

• Difficulty concentrating, making decisions, fending off scary thoughts
• Anxiety, depression, anger, low self-esteem
• Social withdrawal, clinging, aggressiveness
• Muscle tension, nausea, headaches, sleeplessness, fatigue
• Doubts religious beliefs, abandons rituals
• Experiments with drugs, alcohol

STEPS FOR PARENTS

If your child seems to be struggling with emotions, try this:

• Acknowledge child's feelings
• Reassure child he or she is safe
• Give clear explanations
• Share plans and time frames
• Maintain structured routines
• Create fun family activities
• Avoid bad news on television
• Take care of yourself

TAKE TIME FOR SOME FUN

Have an upset child? Try these techniques:

• Butterfly breathing: Have him link his hands behind his head and breathe deeply
• Butterfly hug: Have the child hug himself
• 3-2-1 game: Identify three things you can see, hear and touch, then repeat, finding two things, then one thing
• Contain fears: Place a scary picture in an envelope and store in a secure place
• Play-Doh worry object: Create a dolphin that can swim worries away
• Body burrito: Wrap the child in a blanket
• Tense like a tinman, relax like a ragdoll: Tense all your muscles, then go limp
• Blow bubbles

USF CHILDREN'S FESTIVAL

WHAT: USF College of Education's Children's Festival
WHEN: Saturday, 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.
WHERE: USF College of Education, 4202 E. Fowler Ave., Tampa
COST: Free
PARKING: Free parking is available in the unreserved spaces surrounding the College of Education (Lot 1).

Source: Jennifer Baggerly, Ph.D., LMHC-S, RPT-S