Military embraces mourning families

Greg Reiners stood on the flight line at Dover Air Force base early Monday.

It was cold and silent, save for the sound of soldiers' footfalls and the whine of the C-17's generators keeping the lights on in the bay of the big cargo plane ahead of them.

Reiners, flanked by daughter-in-law Casey Reiners and his ex-wife, Ronna Jackson, waited with the families of two other soldiers killed when a suicide bomber on a motorcycle drove into their patrol in southern Afghanistan last Friday.

They listened to the chaplain say a prayer. Then the caskets were rolled down the cargo ramp.

John Reiners' was first.

Casey Reiners and Ronna Jackson started crying.

"I got weak in the knees, too," Greg Reiners said. "But I had to stand strong."

He embraced his daughter-in-law. He embraced his ex-wife.

"I held them tight," he said. "I let them know I was there for both of them."

For Reiners, the experience was deeply moving and greatly appreciated.

In April, the Obama administration instituted a policy that pays for up to three family members to fly to Dover, the sprawling Delaware base where Americans killed in action are brought home. The change came at the same time the administration allowed the media to attend the ceremonies if given the permission of the families.

"If not for this program, I would not have been able to experience this," said Reiners, who is from Lakeland.

On Feb. 12, Donna Ray was at Dover. Her son Adam, who was born in Tampa, was killed in Afghanistan on Feb. 9 when an improvised explosive device blew up near him.

Ray, who now lives in Kentucky, called the ceremony "beautiful."

"Part of grieving is denial," she said. Seeing Adam's casket "was the point where I was able to accept it."

Facility for the families

Those who came to see the return of John Reiners, 24, and the other soldiers were among the first to experience the military's new Center for the Families of the Fallen.

Opened on Jan. 6, the 6,000 square-foot facility gives families a place to wait comfortably for transportation to the flight line, said Lt. Col. Les Carroll, spokesman for the Air Force unit charged with handling the remains of fallen military personnel.

The center cost $1.6 million. "It is a nice facility," he said. "There are multiple sitting areas, a kitchen, restrooms and a child nursery area. We bring the families from the hotel to there, where they wait for the call to go to the flight line."

Sometimes the wait is a few minutes, sometimes an hour or two, he said. It depends on when the plane carrying the remains arrives.

Dover is well-equipped to help families cope, Carroll said. Casualty assistance officers provide a single contact between the military and the family. There are chaplains and funeral directors on hand to offer advice, and the mortuary unit performs autopsies, ensures proper identification and prepares bodies for final disposition.

The efforts are paying off, Carroll said.

"Since April, more than 70 percent of families (have) come," he said.

"The military does a wonderful job of taking care of the families," Ray said.

Plans never came to pass

The last time Greg Reiners talked to his son was Feb. 11. The two planned a family camping trip.

That didn't happen. They met up instead in Dover.

Though sad, the experience was cathartic, Reiners said.

"I was very proud," he said of being able to see his son's flag-draped casket.

There also was a chance to talk to the families of the other dead soldiers, a chance to swap happy stories about their children growing up.

And there were the final details.

"They will take care of John's body up there," Reiners said. "They will clean him up, patch him up, put on a brand new Class A uniform and his medals and make him perfect."

The viewing for John Reiners is set for 1 to 5 p.m. Sunday at Oak Ridge Funeral Care, 1001 E. Grace Ave., Haines City. The funeral service will begin at 11 a.m. Monday at NorthRidge Baptist Church, 2250 S.R. 17, Haines City. Interment, immediately afterward, will be at Forest Hill Cemetery.