Yellow Ribbon offers help to returning guardsmen

Florida National Guard Staff Sgt. Roger Roache thought he knew what to expect when he was deployed to Kuwait in January 2010 after serving in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Although Afghanistan was intense, Kuwait turned into a whirlwind of another kind.

"This was the easiest of missions because you know what to expect," said Roache, 32. "Emotionally, it's crazy."

His wife, Laura, learned she was pregnant after a trip they took together on his leave. She mailed him sonogram photos, e-mailed updates after doctors' appointments and leaned on family for support. He got up at 4 a.m. to call her for news.

When he returned to their Palm Bay home in December, she had a lengthy "honey-to-do list" for him. She said she didn't know how she would have gotten through the end of the pregnancy without him there.

Their son, Achilles, was born three weeks ago, and the couple is adjusting to sleep deprivation - they joke Achilles is on "Kuwait time."

Although Roger Roache is unemployed and job-hunting, it's a happy period for them.

The hard part tends to come three to four months after a soldier returns, said Col. Jim Fogle-Miller, state chaplain for the National Guard.

At first, he said, families are in the "honeymoon of getting back." But real life creeps in and stress grows.

Fogle-Miller spoke today about reconnecting with loved ones, part of the Yellow Ribbon Program at the Hyatt Regency Tampa. About 1,000 Florida Army National Guard members and their families got an expenses-paid weekend to learn about resources available to help them adjust to post-deployment life.

The soldiers recently returned from deployment to Kuwait for Operation New Dawn, which took effect after combat operations in Iraq ended.

The Yellow Ribbon Program, established nationally in 2008, addresses employment assistance, counseling, suicide awareness and dental care programs, among other topics.

"The whole point of today is to let you know that this homecoming thing is a process," Fogle-Miller told the guard members. "It takes time, and there's a normal sequence to it. And if you run into trouble, there are people you can call."

Ray Perez, a Family Assistance Center specialist in Pinellas Park, was letting people know about the eight centers statewide, which link soldiers to agencies that can provide help.

Perez said most of the calls recently have come from people seeking jobs or financial assistance.

National Guard members maintain full-time jobs, and many have lost them during deployment as companies folded or downsized, he said. Some can't make ends meet; Perez just worked with two soldiers who are homeless.

Smaller stressors add up, too.

Fogle-Miller said many soldiers struggle to relate to family, spouses and friends who don't understand what they experienced overseas. Every soldier in Kuwait understands, for example, how horrible the dust was, but few shared those details.

Family members, meanwhile, may have kept problems at home quiet.

It's important to remember deployment affects everyone, Fogle-Miller said.

"You've all given it courage and strength," he said.