Community coming to grips over Tampa Palms' shooting

Earlier this week, flowers left outside the gates of the Ashington Reserve subdivision where Beau Schenecker and his sister, Calyx, lived had begun to whither. Hand-written cards and letters addressed to the teens were beginning to wade.

Candles lit in memory of the siblings who Tampa police said were fatally shot by their mother had flickered out, but not the community's resolve to begin the healing process together.

The work begins with parents and adults being prepared to offer an extra dose of love, support and understanding to help children cope with loss and grief, experts said.

Are there any specific words adults can use to make things better?

No, said Leslie Kille, director of counseling services at the Crisis Center of Tampa Bay.

"There aren't any right words," Kille said. "You don't have to search to find them."

The best thing a parent, guardian or an adult loved one can do is offer their child support and be a good listener.

"The bottom line is you are not going to screw up if you care and are loving," Kille said.

From schools to playgrounds to office water coolers, people have been talking about the New Tampa mother, Julie Schenecker, accused of fatally shooting her two teenagers for being "mouthy."

Hundreds of mourners have attended memorial services and impromptu vigils in memory of Calyx, a 16-year-old sophomore enrolled in King High's highly academic intensive International Baccalaureate program, and her 13-year-old brother, Beau, an eighth-grade soccer player at Liberty Middle School.

Crisis counselors have been assigned to King and Liberty to be available to speak with students, teachers and staff members in need of counseling.

Kille encourages parents to allow their children to take advantage of the school-sponsored counseling services.

"It doesn't mean your child couldn't handle it without counseling," she said. "It gives them an avenue for expression and a way to cope more quickly."

Most students will seek ways to be heard to express their feelings of grief, said Vito Ricciardi, a school psychologist who has led the crisis counseling team at Liberty Middle.

"Engage your child, get them to talk about their feelings," Ricciardi said. "Use open-ended questions, such as "How do you feel about what happened?

"Most kids don't want their problems solved. They want to be heard."

Adults are also struggling to cope.

Many residents are still trying to make sense of it, said Garrison Urette, a commercial property owner in the Tampa Palms North area and member of the Tampa Palms North Owners Association board.

"The community is still kind of coming to grips with something that I didn't believe would happen in our neighborhood," he said.

Sujata Kumar, a pediatrician and a mother raising two sons in the Ashington Reserve subdivision, said open communication has been essential in her family, and she encourages others to do the same.

Kumar's oldest son is in King's IB program and knew Calyx.

She talks to her boys about what occurred and encourages them to speak out when they have concerns or questions.

"I would have a parent approach their kids," Kumar said. "Ask, what do you understand? Do you have any questions? What do you think?"

Ashington Reserve, a gated enclave west of Bruce B. Downs Boulevard, was rocked by the news of the deaths but hasn't changed.

"I'm happy about that," she said.

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