All Right Folks, Let's Just Stick To The Topic Today - Please

There are times - and this is one of them - when I think I could write a column simply extolling the virtues of Little Bo Peep, recipients of the Medal of Honor and the essence of our precious bodily fluids, and some of you beloved readers would still seize the moment to rant like Old Yeller toward the end about Republicans versus Democrats.

Sheesh! Will some of you folks please either: A) get a life and/or B) lighten up!

It was meant to be just a breezy little column having some fun with the meteorological conga line over Tropical Storm Fay, noting that for all the millions of dollars spent on equipment to track hurricanes, our television prognosticators are still flummoxed in trying to predict a more precise track of these weather events.

"Other than the Olympics and the presidential race, weather seems to be the most over hyped thing on TV these days," e-mailed Jack Peel. "Do you have any idea of why the TV stations devote so much time to the weather as most of it is incomprehensible anyway?"

A Joke - Maybe?

I would imagine the answer is because so many people like to watch it? But that's only a guess.

Some readers joked that all the coverage was motivated by a conspiracy in league with the media - that's the "liberal" media, by the way - on the part of Lowe's and Home Depot and Wal-Mart to get people to stock up on hurricane supplies. At least I think it was a joke.

But both the Fay column and the response to last Sunday's letters column eventually devolved into a banal, blithering back and forth between readers that somehow managed to introduce U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., accusations linking the Democrats to the Ku Klux Klan and the administration of President Ulysses S. Grant.

This social intercourse was about as compelling as watching the Olympic walking competition.

As well, there was a long and especially stultifying tit-for-tat on the John Edwards sex scandal, which had precious little to do with anything I had written or much less cared about.

Or put another way, a mere column about the county mayor ballot initiative kerfuffle, commuter rail and all those people running around naked in Pasco County somehow inspired a couple of readers to engage in a debate about the Iraq War, John McCain's post-Vietnam infidelity and accusations of being unpatriotic.

It wasn't entirely clear who was being accused of treason, but I suspected I was somewhere in the mix.

I'd print some of this stuff but it would make me feel like an enabler, sort of like offering to run to the liquor store for John Daly.

Oh well, I suppose it's always nice to hear from the Attention Deficit Disorder syndrome crowd, too.

Puppet Master

A column on the decision by the Hillsborough County Republican Executive Committee to anoint Rachel Burgin, who has less elective experience than Josef Stalin, to replace state Rep. Trey Traviesa on the November ballot, noted Burgin had once served as a minion for County Commissioner Brian Blair.

"If you are going to learn to be a puppet might as well learn from the best, Brian Blair," wrote Marty.

I have to admit I did take some small comfort that the column on Burgin's political fortunes at least did not inspire readers to weigh in on a litany of issues from the gold standard, to the Kennedy assassination, to Iran's nuclear ambitions, to John McCain's 37 homes all the while accusing me of being the Tokyo Rose of Tampa.

But it's still early yet. Sigh.