Some Wait In Line And Some Don't

Ahem, at the risk of acknowledging a very clothes-challenged emperor in the room, it has been pouted about in some quarters that Hillsborough County school apparatchiks extended special treatment, favoritism and some downright gaga hero worship in approving a special assignment to Plant High School for community living deity Tony Dungy.

Gee? Do ya think?!?!?!

Or put another way, if the former Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach announced that he would like to walk naked every day at noon down Dale Mabry Highway with rose petals tossed at his feet by Mayor Pam Iorio dressed as a medieval wench, the village hotsy-tots would quickly respond with "Yessir, Mr. Dungy, whatever you say Mr. Dungy. We're on it right away Mr. Dungy. Here, Pam, put this on - now!"

Even though the Dungys have a residence in the very swanky-cakes Avila gated community, which is protected by moat, land mines, laser beam webs and a stem cell donated by Chuck Norris, young Eric Dungy was able to receive a special assignment to Plant High, where he is expected to be on the school's football team.

Hardship?

Normally these sorts of things are only meant to be granted on the basis of some kind of family hardship - wink-wink-nod-nod.

And since Avilla is in the Gaither High School district, aside from once having to work for Malcolm Glazer and his imps, Flopsie and Mopsie, what possible "hardship" could Dungy claim to get young Eric into Plant?

Or put another way, perhaps you are a parent who was refused a school reassignment for your child, and you are wondering if maybe there is a double standard? The answer is yes, as a matter of fact there is a double standard.

Tony Dungy benefited from the administration's decision to grant his son reassignment because he is Tony Dungy and you're not. And oh, by the way, you're not supposed to notice. You're supposed to pretend this stuff just happened as if by magic. Any questions?

Not Sure?

In every community there are people who have to wait in line and there are people who don't. Guess who you are? And if you're not sure, try getting your kid into Plant High School.

It is also reasonable to assume that if Eric Dungy was not the promising athlete he is and instead was but a 98-pound tone-deaf violin player, the bureaucratic sycophants at the school systems home office might have suggested the performing arts Blake High School as a better fit.

Tony Dungy remains a much beloved figure in Tampa as much for his triumphs as his tragedies.

But there are all manner of parents in Hillsborough County who have sought school reassignments because of some family hardship and have been refused. Are the domestic stresses they confront any less profound than the Dungys'?

Or put another way, if this scenario involved a child of Ray Perkins, the poor kid would be probably be assigned to be taught by wolves in Balm.

School officials have insisted that by next year, because of expected classroom crowding, receiving approval for a reassignment will require some catastrophic series of events.

Like winning a Super Bowl?