Mr. Hill, A Father And A Mentor

Recently, my church called a meeting of men interested in mentoring.

At the meeting, the facilitator, one of the ministers of the church, discussed why he felt it was important for us as black men to serve as mentors to young black males.

While it is no secret that many young black males are in homes without biological fathers, this minister shared with us that he too grew up not knowing much about his father.

What happened next was a deluge of stories by brothers ranging from age 21 to 65 about how they did not know their fathers or were raised by men other than their natural fathers. I sat there almost dumbfounded by these stories, realizing I was a minority in this group and that I was fortunate since my father had been present in my home.

It also made me reflect on my childhood days and my friends, and the households they lived in. Many of my childhood friends grew up in homes without their natural fathers - or any males at all.

As a child, I was very active and good in sports. Consequently, all my friends were jocks. My father was perhaps my biggest fan. He was not only at all my sporting events; he would come to my practices and sometimes help coach some of the drills. Therefore, he got to know most of the guys I hung with.

What I did not realize is that he was playing a significant role in the lives of my friends.

When my friends would visit, my dad would joke with them about how they performed in the last game or at practice, asked about their families and how things were going in their lives. As I reflect on this, I remember how my friends would address my father as Mr. Hill.

However, for many of my friends, this was not the case in their homes. I can recall visiting with my friends and rarely finding their biological dads.

I remember a lot about my father. He grew up in a small black community in Alabama, stood 6 feet 2 inches and weighed in at about 260 pounds. He was good-looking (my wife even says so), athletic and loved baseball and barbecuing.

However, what I remember most is that he was my father - and perhaps something bigger to my friends.