Science! Science? Hahahaha!!!

There are moments, especially whenever state Sen. Ronda Storms, the Tammy Faye Bakker of Tallahassee, starts flap-jawing, that I begin to think maybe this whole evolution thing is indeed suspect.

Geez, the Earth is estimated to be 4.5 billion years old and all we have to show for it are the likes of Ronda Storms, R-Paula White-Lite, a woman who would send even the hosts of "What Not To Wear" screaming into the night?

The Vicarette of Valrico got her hoop skirt in a wad this week introducing a bill, which might best be described as "The Denial of Reality Act."

Last month the state Board of Education, in a crazy, wacky, cuckoo kind of move, took the bold, unheard of step of acknowledging academic advancement when it voted to allow science teachers to actually teach science, including Darwin's science of evolution.

Wait! Was that the sound of the Board of Education turning into pillars of salt?

Science Experts

The board took its action after engaging in the rather unorthodox approach of consulting science teachers and other experts in the scientific community and asking their thoughts on the science of evolution. Imagine that.

Up next - gravity! Tides! And perhaps the ultimate scientific heresy - the sun rising in the east!

As you can imagine, the Board of Education voting to enter the 21st century didn't sit well with the Bible-thumper crowd and their Mother Superior, Ronda Storms, R-Archbishop of Amway.

This week the Tugboat Annie of End Times filed a bill, disingenuously titled the Academic Freedom Act, which would allow science teachers to ignore established science, such as evolution, and instead introduce contradictory information to students.

By this measure, a teacher, perhaps one who belongs to the Church of the Parallel Universe, could insist two plus two equals five, simply because his or her version of God says so.

Wizard In The Sky

In a gesture of faux sincerity rivaling a smiling Miss America runner-up, Storms insisted she was merely trying to encourage intellectual curiosity, not impose any religious belief or the teaching of creationism or its phony permutation - the Wizard In The Sky Intelligent Design.

Phooey - more or less.

More accurately, the propaganda masquerading as a piece of legislation being proposed by the Ma Kettle of Genesis would be more properly labeled the "Fundamentalist Tyranny Of The Classroom Act."

Of course Storms and her legislative Taliban are attempting to undermine the Board of Education's established science standards to finagle religious concepts like creationism and/or the Wizard In The Sky theology into the teaching of biology - of SCIENCE.

This is slouching to illiteracy. This is a state senator arguing - let's make our students less educated. Say, there's an economic development incentive for you: "Come To Florida - Where Our Youth Are Dumber Than A Sack Of Maybelline Eye Liners."

Dear Lord, forgive the Torquemada of Tallahassee for she knows exactly what she is doing. And she doesn't care.