Throwdown: These Cities Come With Existing Rivalry

As Tampa Bay and Philadelphia gear up to match off in the World Series, The Tampa Tribune challenged The Philadelphia Inquirer to a friendly competition of their own. A columnist from each opposing city will take part in a Throwdown, to determine the superior city - and which team will come out ahead. This week's Throwdown features the Tribune's Joe Henderson against Bill Lyon of The Philadelphia Inquirer. (Who's the winner? Be sure to vote, and to comment below).

Rays: Heading To Philly? Pack Your Flak Jacket

JOE HENDERSON, The Tampa Tribune

They're probably pretty happy up there in Philadelphia right now. They love their Phillies and the World Series is at hand. The best of times, right?

Oh no...

That's right, Philly.

They're back.

Tampa.

Well, technically St. Pete, but close enough for government work. Nothing good happens for Philadelphia when a team from these parts shows up, but if the Rays win the Series that might be the worst blow yet to the City of Brotherly Love except when it comes to Tampa.

You think Boston took it hard losing to the Rays? It would be worse in Philadelphia.

They haven't gotten over the time the Bucs closed down Veterans Stadium by beating an Eagles team that believed the Super Bowl was its destiny. The Bucs were supposed to be the love bug on the windshield of their Super Bowl Express but it didn't exactly work out that way now, did it?

Maybe the Rays could have Ronde Barber throw out the first pitch at one of the games, just for giggles.

Then they had the audacity to do it again just eight months later. The Bucs went to Philly for the opening of its new stadium, Lincoln Financial Field, and ruined the party. The final was 17-0. Oh, and remember the 62-yard field goal Matt Bryant kicked at the gun to beat the Eagles 23-21 in 2006?

Lightning Chipped In Too

It's not just football, either. They really like hockey in Philly - Broad Street Bullies and all that. Winning the Stanley Cup is a big deal, and they might have done that if the Lightning hadn't beaten the Flyers in Game 7 of their conference final series in 2004.

If the Rays pull this off, though, it might finally be too much for the good people of Philadelphia. Although they've certainly had enough practice at it, they don't really handle defeat too well.

True story: I was covering the NFC title game between the Eagles and Carolina in Philly. It turned out like basically every other big sports event turns out in that town, so the local populace was bummed. I, of course, couldn't have cared less.

I stopped off in the lounge of my hotel for a post-game brew. There were a few fans from both teams there, but everyone was behaving themselves until this petite, attractive woman in a $125 Eagles designer sweatshirt sashayed up to a guy wearing a Carolina cap and knocked it off his head, tossing in a string of words you can't use in Sunday school.

He looked surprised but picked his cap up and didn't say anything. She knocked it off again.

Long story short: After returning to her seat, she waited about a minute and then raced across the room and tackled the hapless Carolina fan. He was trying to be a gentleman and protect himself at the same time. She was flailing away at him. The judges had her ahead on all scorecards.

I mention that story as a warning to any Rays fan who thinks they can make a pleasant trip to the ballpark in Philly to support their team. I'd recommend against it, but if you must go then keep your mouth shut and don't wear any Rays gear unless it comes equipped with body armor.

Complain, Complain, Complain

You can hear the catwalk jokes starting already, can't you?

By the time the first pitch is thrown, Philly pfolks will have griped about Tropicana Field, Raymond, the Rays' new uniforms, the Rays' old uniforms, Joe Maddon's glasses, Cuban sandwiches, basically everything about St. Petersburg, cowbells, and Matt Bryant (they need to get over that one).

Well, they do have a grand new ballpark there (which would look really good near downtown Tampa; I'm just saying...) and a lot more experience in these sorts of things than they do around here.

But if they bothered to actually watch the Rays this year and not just dredge up the sins of the past decade, they'd find a young, skilled, confident and dangerous team that has proven it belongs. The Rays stood up to Boston's best. They wiped out Chicago in the division series.

They took a punch in Game 5 and came back with a knockout of their own.

Should be a great series.

If the Rays pull this off, some might be tempted to call it an upset. They'd be wrong. It's just what happens when teams from Tampa and Philadelphia get together with something important on the line.

Oh, OK .... St. Pete, not Tampa.

We'll know soon enough if it makes any difference.

Phillies: Philly Fans Can't Beat This Match-up With A Stick

BILL LYON, The Philadelphia Inquirer

The editor-man is poking me in the ribs with a pointy stick. "Wake up... wake up."

Go away.

"No, no this is important. We are exhuming you from your retirement because we have an important assignment."

This better be good.

"Oh it is, it is. We need you to tell the readers why we should hate Tampa Bay."

The one in Florida?

"Exactly."

Why? What do we have against them?

"Tampa's baseball team, a bunch of dastardly upstarts, is now all that stands between us and another World Series championship."

Another?

"Oh har-de-har-har-har. Aren't you the laugh riot? All right, I grant you, our trophy case isn't exactly overflowing. All the more reason to hate Tampa. Those people haven't the faintest idea what it's like to suffer and wait, wait and suffer, sit and stew, stew and sit."

Well, I will admit, their traffic is a horror. Makes the Schuylkill Expressway look like the Autobahn.

"No, no, I'm talking about their baseball team. This is only their 11th year of existence, and here they are playing in the World Series. Do you have any idea how long we in Philly have to lie on a bed of nails waiting for something like that?"

Half a century?

"Close."

Seems to me I remember their football team doing its share of suffering. The Bucaneers were an expansion team and lost their first 26 games. They were so bad that their coach, John McKay, was asked after a game what he thought of their execution, and he said: I'm all in favor of it.

"Yes, but they did win a Super Bowl eventually. And just to rub it in, the coach was Jon Gruden, who used to be the Eagles offensive coordinator. You remember Chucky, don't you?"

I remember him regaling us with how late one night in his office at the Vet the ceiling collapsed and two enormous rats and one feral cat landed on his desk, and the four of them eyeballed each other and then took off in four different directions.

"And it was Tampa that killed us in the NFL playoffs. Maybe the most wrenching loss in Eagles history was Tampa's win in the NFC championship game, the last game at the Vet. It cost us a chance in the Super Bowl."

The Vet is long gone. Let it go ... let it go.

"Can't. It's in our DNA. Remember, we bleed green, and we bleed it by the gallon, and nobody, nobody, suffers so grandly."

Nonetheless, your case for hating Tampa looks pretty weak.

"Well, their hockey team - imagine, a hockey team in Florida - beat the Flyers in the seventh game of the Eastern Conference finals, and then the Lightning had the gall to go on and win the Stanley Cup. How's that for wanting revenge?

Must be at least seven people who care.

"OK, well, every spring we lend Tampa - Clearwater, same thing - the Phillies. And this is the gratitude we get in return?"

Yeah, the ingrates. Also, it strikes me that working up a froth of anger would be a lot easier if the Rays players themselves were a little less likable. And weren't so good. And weren't so good and so young. In many ways, they remind me of the Phillies.

"Ohhhhh, nooooooo!"

Relax, Fightin's in six.

And take that pointy stick with you.