Leftwich has won this farce of a QB 'duel'

Pay no attention to that man throwing touchdowns. Or that kid scrambling 28 yards to the end zone. Or the rookie coach behind the curtain, talking about a competition.

This is why I hate preseason.

It's such a Land of Make Believe.

Provided he doesn't split a cab to the stadium with Aqib Talib, Lord Byron Leftwich, not Luke McCown, will start at quarterback when the Bucs open the season against Dallas. By the way, you'll know it's the opener when you see DeMarcus Ware wearing a lobster bib. Byron, beware.

Leftwich did not play badly Saturday in Jacksonville. I think he needed to do just that to lose the job. He threw 12 fastballs, six for strikes, and led the lads to a field goal.

But what about young Luke? He threaded two passes for those touchdowns. They were great throws. Well, that settled it.

So, naturally, the clear winner is:

Leftwich!

It's time for the rookie head coach to end this farce. Name Leftwich the starter and be done with it. By waiting, Raheem Morris is now in the awkward position of possibly naming Leftwich the starter after McCown arguably played better Saturday and young Josh Freeman stirred happy thoughts with his second-half scoring scamper - yes, scamper - in the Bucs' stirring 24-23 win against the Jags.

Morris says it's evaluation time, and everything will play a part in the final decision - OTA days, training camp, "and then the games are like the final exam," Morris said. Leftwich and McCown's final exam numbers just aren't that different. If it's really that close, maybe they should play on, keep battling. If it's a real competition, why not let them compete?

Because it isn't.

"Got to make it now, man," Morris said.

You know, I've never bought into the great quarterback duel. Deep down I don't think Morris did, either, no matter what he promised McCown. I think this decision was made a while back. I think a lot of Bucs already know.

McCown, only one of the nicest men in football, turned to his faith after Saturday's game.

"Whatever it is, it's part of his plan for me," he said.

God's plan.

He added, "I would hate to be the one making the decision."

Raheem's plan.

Maybe we'll see an official plume of white smoke from One Buc today, at about the time Sabby Piscitelli catches up with Jaguars receiver Troy Williamson.

Yes, the Bucs defense was burned for a long touchdown to start Saturday, but the best defense is a good offense, or at least any kind of offense, and all any kind of offense needs is any kind of quarterback with more experience. Byron Leftwich is just such a quarterback.

Anyone who runs this offense this season is in for a very serious world of hurt. But Leftwich might provide some sort of steadying senior leadership during that brutal schedule to start this season, provided he lives to see the end of it.

He is a congenial sort (so is McCown). Leftwich is well-liked by teammates, as he was in Jacksonville, where he returned Saturday. Leftwich has a winning record as a starter (24-22), though that record is sure to fall early this season.

But all that stuff matters. And experience will. And Leftwich has that rifle. True, he also has the kind of mobility that seems as if it were poured from a cement mixer. And his release will be a godsend to Bucs fans, giving them a chance to go in the kitchen to make a ham sandwich in the time between he rears back and the time the ball is actually thrown. One-one Byron, two-one Byron, three-one Byron ...

My last memory of him during an actual game is from a couple of years ago. He started for the Falcons against the Bucs and the Bucs simply inhaled him. Leftwich was so slow even Gaines Adams got to him. And, repeating, that was two years ago. I can't get that out of my mind.

Now it's decision time, if you want to believe that.

"But it couldn't have asked for a better competition, for better results," Morris said.

This never has felt like a competition.

It has always felt like Leftwich's job to lose.

And no matter what, there's bound to be more losing.