A world of water may be waiting in the wings for much of Tampa

I'm not really sweating the year 2100.

It ought to be an interesting enough year. By then, it's likely cars will be running on extract of kudzu, the Tampa Bay Rays regularly will be selling out their domed stadium in Ruskin, the Bucs will be completing a rebuilding season and Dick Greco will be contemplating another run for mayor.

Also, if you believe an expert who stopped in Tampa the other day, by that year a pretty sizable chunk of Tampa is likely to be under water.

Gordon Hamilton is a research professor from the University of Maine. He was in town at The Florida Aquarium as part of something called the "Hip Boot Tour," which, I'm told, is sponsored by a non-profit activist global warming organization. So you can see where he was coming from.

Waterfront property

Basically his message was that if we don't do something to cool things off, by 2100 water levels will rise between 3 and 6 feet. That would be enough to sink Harbour Island and Davis Islands. If the level is closer to 6 feet, the entire Interbay peninsula from MacDill Air Force Base to the Krispy Kreme on Kennedy Boulevard would be gone as would downtown Tampa.

It's not going to be easy living in 6 feet of water. I've had some experience with this. Our South Tampa street turns into a river every time it rains and Lake Pam (formerly known as Lake Dick, Lake Sandy and Lake Billy) returns like a watery Brigadoon to flood yards and swallow the unsuspecting car or two left parked in the street.

That's less a problem of global warming than of ancient storm sewers unable to deal with the thousands of homes built after the sewers. The city has promised to fix the problem ... my guess would be around the year 2100.

Losing the islands and a major chunk of South Tampa is going to cause other changes. For one thing, all those people who live north of Kennedy and who think South Tampa residents are snobs are going to become the new South Tampa people and will have to become more polished in acting like they are the Big Deals around here.

The disappearance of Davis Islands and Harbour Island won't be much of a loss but the sinking of Bayshore Boulevard is going to cause some problems.

Beads on MLK

With the Bayshore underwater, this is going to mean big changes in the annual Gasparilla parade. The new parade route will have to go down Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard, which will replace Bayshore Boulevard as the city's waterfront drive.

Fortunately, we have Raymond James Stadium on MLK. It shouldn't be much of a problem to flood the inside of the stadium - like they used to do at the old Roman Colosseum - and float the pirate ship in there.

The only other real concern with having Tampa under water is that downtown Tampa will be gone, forcing the city and county governments to move their offices out to Seffner or Mango, where they already have enough problems with borrow pits and landfills.

At least with government in the neighborhood, the people of Seffner and Mango can expect to be a regular stop for the coming bullet train as well as a likely site for the next stadium move.