Bucs must save face after latest debacle

Column

Now they have egg on their face – Duck egg, no less.

Oregon's Chip Kelly will not be the Tampa Bay Buccaneers' head coach and we're beginning to wonder if anyone will. It's jilted at the altar, hold the Tuna.

The Glazers went for it, like they do once a coaching search, except for the last one. They threw the Bill Parcells Hail Mary, double secret interviews, the works, and Kelly seemed ready to be the man.

He played the Bucs mighty fine, Chip did. Oh, well, maybe he would have bombed like so many college coaches have in the NFL. And could we really have lived in a town where the pro and college coaches go by Chip and Skip, respectively? What is this, Barney's Playhouse?

I'm sure Kelly took a look deep inside himself, or maybe it was a midnight (Pacific) phone call from Nike king and Oregon booster Phil Knight, promising that the brand new Chip Kelly high-top sneaker would soon hit store shelves.

The Bucs are back to pounding the pavement.

It's face saving time.

Kelly will be an NFL coach one day soon, so this had to be more than smelling the Oregon tall firs. Could it be that Kelly sniffed the Bucs and said not there, not now? Has the Tampa Bay brand fallen that badly?

I mean, getting dumped by Parcells is one thing, actually. Actually, it's two things, since he dumped the Bucs twice.

But … Chip Kelly ?

For several hours, who wasn't excited at the idea of Kelly's three-and-in offense? Oregon scores touchdowns in two minutes. There are Bucs running plays that take that long to develop.

I mentioned Kelly as a possibility a month ago in the name of offense, offense, offense. I dropped the idea when Kelly's name didn't surface on many NFL search or interview lists. Give the Glazers and Bucs general manager Mark Dominik high marks for stealth – and low marks for finishing. How do you like your eggs, scrambled, fried or over easy?

The Glazers have pulled it out of the fire after being jilted. They liked Steve Spurrier before they chose Tony Dungy. They loved Bill Parcells before they picked Jon Gruden. It doesn't seem like there's anyone like that out there this time around. Give the G men credit for taking a shot. Now, about Plan B …

Who, Glazers included, is excited about any of the men who've already been interviewed?

Marty Schottenheimer?

He might be the best face-saver handy, a fall back, a stabilizer, a caretaker.

Excited?

Hey, there's Mike Sherman?

Excited?

I like Rob Chudzinski, but he's a little green, and who would he bring to work the defense?

Don't look now, but big-time offensive and defensive coordinators are being scooped up. Fired Rams coach Steve Spagnuolo is now the Saints defensive coordinator, another fine mess for the Bucs.

I would have loved a dream team of Kelly as head coach and Spagnuolo as defensive coordinator.

This thing might never end. Or it might end today.

What about 49ers offensive coordinator Greg Roman? Is Brian Billick that much of a pariah? Look, Marty's not going anywhere. He's waiting, patiently.

If all this talk seems slightly scattershot, how is it any different than the Glazers? They have been all over the place with this search, by age, by experience, by any measure.

At least Chip Kelly wouldn't have been boring. It might have been fun.

What's fun now?

The Bucs thought they'd hired the next Mike Tomlin in Raheem Morris. They thought they were about to hire the next Jim Harbaugh in Chip Kelly.

Hey, what's Bill Parcells doing these days, anyway?