Sorry, Charlie, No Chance

Enough with the speculation about Gov. Charlie Crist's chances to be John McCain's running mate.

And that includes trying to interpret the environmental tea leaves over his comments about oil drilling off the coast of Florida and any calculated offset by the state's purchase of U.S. Sugar and by Everglades restoration. And it also includes critiques of Crist's California stump speech from hell, in which he misidentified Ronald Reagan's birthplace and lavishly praised Gov. Schwarzenneger before Republicans who are lukewarm about him.

There won't be a Vice President Crist, even if McCain secretly thinks Dan Quayle was the best veep choice ever.

Crist would be a fatal distraction, just the sort of thing a poll-challenged candidate trying to find a niche - other than faux maverick and conservative light - couldn't live with. Crist's track record as governor would be scrutinized, and then everyone would know that on the two biggest Florida issues - property taxes and insurance - he had turned into a glib empty suit, albeit a well-tanned, bipartisan one.

Charlie needs to concentrate on his day job - and worry more about a Gov. Iorio scenario.

The Leverage Game

So, St. Petersburg's Jabil Circuit might be picking up its corporate headquarters and manufacturing facility and heading elsewhere. Taking its 1,900 jobs and leaving a property-tax void of $1.6 million.

Unless.

Of course, we've seen this leverage game before. It's usually played by those who need a new facility - often known as a stadium.

Language Police

Granted, it's kind of picky, but I thought that during a time of war we had gotten past the point where we would routinely use the metaphors of real life-and-death combat to apply to athletes.

The Tampa Bay Lightning's management, which has been impressively aggressive in upgrading the team, recently signed high-profile left wing Ryan Malone. The team's official statement underscored the rationale: "He fits our strategic plan of adding quality players with a warrior mentality."

Out of respect for real "warriors" - as well as the gritty game of hockey - why not be straightforward and honest: "He's an excellent winger who's also a tough guy, and we like tough guys."

And while we're on the subject of words that need never surface again in the context of athletics: swagger. As in, "This team's (University of Miami football comes to mind) been down for a while. What they need is to get their swagger back."

Oh.

Can't a team be good - or regain its formidable status - without resorting to the boorish antics of arrogant, look-at-me, pseudo intimidation? Shouldn't sports at least attempt to be an upgrade from exactly this kind of behavior?