When is a divot a bunker? Just ask Dustin Johnson

All he is dust in the wind.

Who doesn't feel bad for golfer Dustin Johnson this morning?

Still, the guy is a dummy, or at least he was Sunday on the 18th and what somehow became his final hole of the PGA Championship.

His bunker boo-boo at Whistling Straits will outlast the sands of time.

His war crime: grounding his 4-iron.

The Evil One.

History will say a dude from Germany beat a guy named Bubba to win the season's final major -- and that Tiger Woods didn't.

But what we'll remember is Dustin Johnson's gaffe. One second he had the lead, next second he was heading for a three-way playoff, next second a PGA poobah was on the 18th green saying, "Um, Dusty, we got a problem." The two-stroke penalty cost Johnson his shot at glory.

Not since Roberto "What a stupid I am" De Vicenzo signed an incorrect scorecard to blow the 1968 Masters has there been anything dumber than this in golf.

Yeah, that French guy imploded with dumb shots at the British Open, and Phil Mickelson was an idiot at the U.S. Open once, but those were different kinds of errors.

It all began when someone very rich hired someone else very rich and together decided that they wanted to build the world's largest sand box this side of the Sahara.

Whistling Straits is a bunker occasionally interrupted by grass. There are more than 1,200 of the sandy suckers on it, some the size of steam boats and others the size of divots.

By comparison, the moon has 1,134 bunkers.

In fact, there are so many bunkers at Whistling Straits that fans stood in them the whole tournament because, well, where else were they going to stand?

Neither Johnson nor his caddie thought they were in a bunker on 18. Nor, for that matter, did the CBS analyst standing next to them. Neither did Nick Faldo, who has won a major or two or six.

No, everyone had to go over the video again and again, Zapruder-like, to see if the trap was really a trap. I didn't sleep all night, trying to figure out was there a lip or not a lip.

Golf is such a goofy game. I still don't know how grounding a club at that particular juncture helped Dusty.

I ground my club all the time. Not only that, I have been known to put my finger in the bear's navel at miniature golf. And what's this thing about having to wear a shirt all the time?

Golf is such a gentleman's game, even when the No. 1 ranked player in the world is more flying pig than gentleman when he takes off his spikes.

Imagine if something like this happened in another game.

Food fight!

It's hilarious when you think about it, really.

Think of all the baseball players over the past generation who've trooped onto the field of play stuffed with performance enhancers.

And here a guy grounds his club.

Got to love golf.

By the way, I think the Wanamaker Trophy is on steroids. Could we get a bigger trophy here? Could the winner just climb in it?

Still, who didn't feel awful for Dustin Johnson?

Thing is, there was a notice given all players - and it was posted in the locker room - about the bunkers and how anything that even looks like sand is one. Dusty apparently didn't read the sheet. I bet a lot of golfers didn't. But Whistling Straits is an unusual place.

Maybe he should have read the sheet.

Hey, it was good theater at least.

Beats waiting on Tiger to get it together.

Dustin Johnson has an astounding future. Big hitter. I think he could have hit the Michigan side of Lake Michigan if he's teed one up on the Whistling Straits side and let it rip. Johnson was leading the U.S. Open at Pebble Beach before imploding with an 82 in the final round. That he bounced back to be leading the PGA says something about him.

But this will be a major test.

He is Dusty De Vicenzo.

Good luck, kid.

As consolation, Johnson qualified for the U.S. Ryder Cup team, as did runner-up Bubba Watson. I think the German guy will make the European team, too.

The winner's name is Martin Kaymer.

Well played, young man.

As if we'll remember it.

All it is dust in the wind.