After allowing crucial hit, Howell accepts the blame

With no hesitation or excuses, Rays reliever J.P. Howell blamed himself for Monday night's 4-3 loss against the Texas Rangers in Game 3 of the American League division series.

"Disgusting," Howell said. "It made me sick. I feel bad. I feel terrible.

"I feel like the loser. I feel like the reason why (we lost)."

Howell, who struggled through most of the regular season (2-3, 6.16 ERA), was a controversial choice to make the Rays' 25-man postseason roster. But manager Joe Maddon selected Howell largely for the opportunity that presented itself Monday.

Seventh inning, bases loaded, two outs, Rangers leading, 2-1.

Howell was brought in to face left-handed hitting Josh Hamilton.

Hamilton waved and missed at Howell's first offering, a curveball. Howell was next going fastball, but thought Hamilton might be sitting on that pitch. So he went back to the curve. It was low, like Howell wanted, but it caught too much of the plate and Hamilton stroked it to right for a two-run single.

"That's one of the big reasons why J.P. was here, to pitch to that fellow," Maddon said. "He had decent success in the past."

In two career appearances against Hamilton with the bases loaded, Howell surrendered a grand slam (2008) and now a two-run single.

"All the homework we do, that's our best one-on-one matchup, we think, out of the bullpen based on the stuff J.P. has and what he has done to left-handed hitters this year," Maddon said. "He just got the curveball in a bad spot."

After two pitches, Howell was done.

He took off his cap and glove and walked slowly, head down, to the dugout. Just before reaching the steps, Howell threw down his glove in disgust.

In four appearances with the bases loaded this season, Howell has allowed three hits and a sacrifice fly.

Howell said he is fine physically, even after missing the entire 2010 season because of left shoulder surgery. He was reinstated from the disabled list on May 20 and made 46 appearances out of the bullpen.

"Physically, I feel great,'' Howell said. "I've been given a lot of time to get right. This is straight up me. It's not the arm, not the shoulder.

"I would definitely say I'm not executing the same, that's for sure. That's reps. That's all right. I should be able to do it by now. … Tonight, I didn't get the job done. That goes next to my name."

Howell inherited a sticky situation from Brandon Gomes, who relieved David Price and walked both of the batters he faced.

"That's what breaks my heart," Howell said. "Gomer hasn't needed any help all year. The one time he needed help, I couldn't (help). I wanted to really, really do that for him. That hurts more than anything.

"Next year is going to be better. That's the one thing I know for sure. Next year is going to be better."

If the Rays don't win today, next year will arrive sooner than expected.