Feeling The Love

Joe Caro, the New York Yankees scout and former high school coach, never believed he would utter such words to his male friends and old baseball buddies.

I love you.

But here's what he really can't fathom.

What took so long to state the obvious?

For nearly six months, Caro, 49, has been fighting a private war against throat cancer. And in the moments when radiation treatments practically knocked him out, when he couldn't speak or eat, when he barely could make sense of it all, he sometimes felt alone.

Of course, that was never the case.

Caro's wife of 27 years, Kim, and their grown children, Dominic and Alexandra, have been vigilant.

The friends he made during a lifetime in baseball - Yankees colleagues, fellow scouts, old teammates and his players from Tampa Catholic, Plant and Crystal River during a 12-season coaching career - have shown affection in ways that constantly amaze Caro.

"Five years from now, I hope I don't stop telling the people close to me how much I love them," he said. "I need to say it. It sounds ridiculous, but sometimes you get so busy. Sometimes, life gets in the way. Sometimes, you need to be reminded how lucky you are."

Two weeks from tonight - on Feb. 2 at 7 p.m. in the Tampa Catholic High cafeteria - friends are planning a food-and-entertainment "Get Well Bash" for the Caro family. The cost is $25 in advance ($35 at the door). More information can be obtained from Mike Scanio at (813) 223-7798 or (813) 766-3811.

Many items will be available through the event's auction, including separate dinners with Rays manager Joe Maddon and Detroit Tigers manager Jim Leyland, rare memorabilia and voluminous sports merchandise.

"You have to know Joe to know how much he gives back to this community," said Scanio, Caro's former assistant coach at TC. "He has always helped kids in the baseball community - and not just with teams he has been affiliated with. He's a giver. Now so many people want to give back to him."

All funds will go to the Caro family, which, to put it mildly, had a rough 2007.

Kim, while escaping the path of an oncoming car, fell and fractured her skull. Later, she had exploratory surgery. Dominic, a student at Florida State, slammed into the rear window of a car while riding his motor scooter.

"More medical situations than anyone should deal with in a lifetime, let alone a year," Scanio said.

But the most consuming concern was Caro's condition.

Last spring, a small mass formed on his neck. It was removed and dismissed as a staph infection. Another growth appeared, almost in the same place. This time, the diagnosis was grim.

Throat cancer.

Caro was aggressive, opting for surgery, then radiation and chemotherapy.

"The radiation was unlike anything I had ever experienced," Caro said. "The doctor said it was like a second-degree burn outside my body and inside my body. I looked like the people you saw in pictures from Hiroshima or Nagasaki. I was coal black."

Then came the rainbows, the random acts of kindness that caught Caro by surprise.

The friend who left her family in Atlanta for a week to help with Caro's care.

The 12-year-old boy who knocked on his door and offered to mow the lawn.

The stranger in a grocery store, the 16-year cancer survivor, who sought him out and gave a pep talk.

Caro hasn't worked since August.

"But the paychecks keep coming," he said. "The Yankees sent me a contract for 2008. They said, 'Here's what we'd like you to do. If you can't, we'll make adjustments.' How many jobs show that level of caring, that level of concern? I'm blessed."

Caro's goal is to work spring training. He's still using a feeding tube while re-learning how to swallow. Doctors are optimistic that the worst is over, but Caro still will undergo more rounds of chemotherapy in February.

"They say the cure rate increases by 3 to 5 percent with another round of chemotherapy," said Caro, a devout Catholic. "Is that enough to go through that again? When you think of a room of 100 people, that's three to five human beings. That's a lot. I'm doing anything I can to increase my odds."

Caro has simple wishes. To nurture his close relationships. To make a small difference each day. To once again eat rice and beans, chicken and a big, juicy steak. Another world championship for the Yankees would be cool, too.

"Just the word alone - cancer - brings up so much fear," Caro said. "But even faced with that, I discovered a lot of strength and caring. You can get overwhelmed sometimes by the good in people."

That's what happens when you feel the love.

Reporter Joey Johnston can be

reached at (813) 259-7353 or