Uncle Stu's comments getting old

It's nothing earth shattering or ground breaking, including stadium ground breaking.

We haven't even gotten to the creamy caramel center, the Build It Or Else portion of our program, which is years away. On the other hand, the Build It Or We're Trading Our Outfield ... well, not this year.

Uncle Stu wants his stadium.

It is not a news scoop to say American League champion Rays attendance at the Trop is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside a free postgame Smash Mouth concert.

Nor is it news that Rays owner Stuart Sternberg continues to lightly pepper our area about that new baseball park.

"Certainly we're going to need a new facility," Sternberg says. "There's no question about that. I've said that since the day I came in."

Sternberg made that statement in a made-for-Rays media teleconference to "celebrate" the Rays being ranked sports' No. 1 in affordability by ESPN The Magazine.

It's no news flash that Rays attendance is soft, just as it wasn't surprising when New Yorker Sternberg made goo-goo "I want one" eyes when he stepped into the new Yankees and Mets' ballparks.

Actually, that last part is getting old. So is Stu saying he prefers the new Tampa Bay stadium to be open air - truly spoken like a man who hits Florida for ballgames eight or nine times a season. Hey, pal, why don't you come mow my lawn in August, then talk about open air.

But we are approaching undeniable facts.

Fact 1: The Rays, despite success and low, low prices, continue to be a lousy draw. They have the fifth-worst attendance in baseball, ahead of only Cleveland, Oakland, Pittsburgh and the Marlins.

And the Marlins are getting a new ballpark with a roof down in Miami, near the Orange Bowl. Lovely. All together now:

IT'S IN THE WRONG PLACE!

Fact 2: The Trop is in the wrong place. So was that sailboat stadium. Does anyone really think St. Pete is the answer anymore?

Fact 3: This is a soft sports community. It's a fine place to live, truly, but when people complain about driving, you know, "over the bridge," you're soft, bordering on weak. Look, go, don't go, but if you don't go, don't go getting upset if someone says you're a lousy baseball town.

Fact 4: Guys worth hundreds of millions of dollars don't get listened to much in bad economies.

Fact 5: Any new stadium should be on this side of the bay.

Fact 6: I did no real research for Fact 5. Aren't sports columns grand?

Fact 7: I'm a Stu fan. A few weeks ago, I asked him about attendance, and he declined to answer with a grin, saying, "I'm a retired businessman living on a pension." A near dead-on Hyman Roth from "The Godfather, Part II." You go, Stu!

Fact 8: A small "group" of Tampa baseball fans (I think they could squeeze into one car) have started an initiative to get a Rays stadium here. I can just hear their first meeting.

"First things first - does anyone got 600 million bucks on them?"

Fact 9: The Rays should consider a free baseball game after summer concerts. Also, somebody call the Stones, clean Keith up, get him a blood change, because the Royals are coming in, and the advance isn't good.

Fact 10: No one should be telling people how to spend their money, not me, not Stu - unless you're thinking of buying a sequined glove to honor you know who, in which case I'm stepping in.

Fact 11: This stadium story is just beginning.

Fact 12: Stu, love the prices, loved the pennant, and you've got a point about attendance, but if you say one more time about how much you like the Mets' new stadium, well, think Smash Mouth.