more than time to share

Some adages about boats also hold water when it comes to timeshares.

My version:

What's better than owning a timeshare?

KNOWING someone who owns a timeshare.

As the longtime owner of one week at each at two timeshares, and former skipper of three boats, I've got lots of advice for anyone who has bought one or plans to - although impulse buying seems to be an industry mainstay.

It's partly my mom's fault I first got snookered. The trap was set in October 1979 when she phoned from her Miami home: "I bought a place on Sanibel Island."

I was incredulous. Even then, property on that pristine Lee County island was beyond her reach.

Pressed for details, she said she bought a timeshare - deeded, perpetual use of Shell Island Beach Club Unit 3-B during the 35th week of every year, starting the following September.

When it came time, share she did. I was invited for Labor Day weekend.

Like most Sanibel visitors, I was enchanted with the barrier island's beautiful beaches, abundance of shells, lush landscape. Mom's nicely furnished two-bedroom unit at a Gulf-front resort with swimming pool, hot tub and tennis wasn't too shabby, either.

During my three-day stay, I unwittingly accepted an invite to a timeshare sales pitch disguised as a Shell Island wine-and-cheese party. The salesman who targeted me and my girlfriend urged us to tour Lighthouse Resort and Club, just across coconut palm-lined Periwinkle Way.

The 30 units on Estero Bay were built as condominiums, so they were spacious for timeshares: 1,800 square feet, including huge master bedroom, twin-bed guest room, den with sleeper sofa, two baths, laundry room, three patios. They, too, had all the amenities, from poolside gas grills and shuffleboard to tennis.

There was no need for arm twisting; I was sold. Tacked on to the $5,300 price were closing costs ($53) and title insurance and legal fees ($175). I put the $1,428 deposit on plastic and signed papers obligating me to five years of $97 monthly payments at 14.92 percent (total $7,270).

I bought week 34. It was the cheapest and preceded my mother's week, allowing me to extend my annual visit by moving to her timeshare (I'd bring the leftovers).

This raises Rule No. 1 of timeshare ownership: Buy where you want to visit annually, a resort you like, ideally within convenient driving distance.

Proximity eliminates airfare and car rental, and you can schlep food from home, a substantial savings over inflated costs in most resort areas.

Rule No. 2 (Disappointment No. 1): You never finish paying for your timeshare.

Salespeople may not mention, and buyers may not think to ask: How much are annual fees? And what about taxes, huh?

Timeshare owners share more than time. We fork over sizeable maintenance fees and share the resort's property taxes.

Burgeoning maintenance fees and property taxes have reached $694 for my late-August week at Lighthouse Resort. The total is $795 at the Shell Island unit I inherited when my mom died in 1996. (Yes, most timeshares are deeded property, passed on after the owner passes away.)

Some taxing authorities divide the annual tax bill evenly among owners. However, someone - undoubtedly the owner of a bargain-priced summertime unit like mine - suggested that pricier peak-week units should bear the greater tax burden.

Now, in Lee County at least, it's prorated. Winter weeks carry a larger tax burden than the "geez that pavement is hot" days of August.

At Lighthouse Resort, 2008 taxes for week 34 were $51, compared with $91 for February weeks 5 or 6.

Such costs are omitted from fliers touting the benefits of "interval ownership" and "Why Vacation Ownership Makes Sense" distributed at some resorts.

Atop a lime-green flier I saved for my own amusement: "Stay without paying."

Do tell.

"Timeshare owners are delighted when they check out at the end of their week's stay because their bill is ZERO!!"

Owners' guests may get a free ride, but my annual fees are paid in January to avoid late charges and 18 percent interest.

A recent American Resort Development Association poll found 72 percent of owners say a timeshare "allows them to vacation with friends and family who may not otherwise be able to afford a vacation."

In other words, "Come on down, vacation's on me. Bring your own beer, maybe some for me?"

Disappointment No. 2: Surprises can be costly.

Hurricane Charley's August 2004 Florida tour heavily damaged Sanibel. Turns out, neither of my timeshares carries loss-of-use insurance, and I was among many owners shut out during months of repairs.

My losses - $1,500 for that year's fees and a short-circuited vacation.

In 1991, my timeshare on the bay levied a $200 "special assessment" to correct roofing defects. Another special assessment was levied in 2008 to remedy longtime seepage attributed to design and construction flaws. The $416 is payable in four annual installments.

Additionally, those repairs necessitated closing the resort for a month, shutting out owners for four weeks.

At the Gulf-front timeshare, replacement roof problems not covered by warranty could trigger a special assessment, too.

Axiom No. 1: A timeshare is a prepaid vacation expense, not an investment.

Although salespeople and advertising proclaim the ease of selling your timeshare, it's not simple, and don't expect to profit.

There's no easy way to show your timeshare to prospective buyers, and agencies that broker resales usually command a 25 percent commission. Consumer warnings say some require upfront fees, then do little to market the place.

A week-34 unit identical to mine is listed on the Lighthouse Resort Web site for $300 less than what I paid in 1980.

So, another appropriate adage borrowed from boaters: The two happiest days in the life of a timeshare owner - the day he buys it and the day he sells it.

This brings up Rule No. 3: If you want a timeshare, seek a "street price" bargain from someone wanting to escape the annual fees.

Just before Thanksgiving, a Shell Island Beach Club unit drew 31 bids from seven eBay bidders. The premium mid-February week brought $4,050. The resort's Web site offers February weeks for $19,000 and $30,000.

Companion Rule 3B: To rent a timeshare, surf the Internet.

It's cheaper to rent directly from an owner. And don't be too shy to bargain via phone or e-mail, especially if the unit remains available as the week draws near. For an owner unable to use the unit, recouping something is better than nothing.

I routinely rent one of my weeks to a friend, colleague or friend of a friend for a pittance over my fees. The bargain price coupled with Sanibel's popularity has spawned return customers and referrals. (Wanna see pictures of my grand condos?)

Axiom No. 2: As demonstrated in the 1969 cult comedy "Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice," swapping is not wise.

Over the years, I've endured a few timeshare pitches, my miserable method of earning show tickets in Vegas, dinner in Daytona. Salespeople always cite swapping as a great advantage.

But common sense dictates I can never trade August in Florida for ski season in Colorado.

Swapping boosts your costs. With one of largest timeshare swapping organizations, you pay a $200 initiation, $89 annual dues and up to $189 to facilitate each swap - on top of fees you've paid for the unit you're trading.

In conclusion

Overall, I've enjoyed my many weeks in Sanibel or I wouldn't keep going. I've become familiar with the island and friendly with some of my timeshare neighbors who, like me, began the annual pilgrimage long before the Sanibel Causeway toll tripled to its current $6.

However, had I invested what I paid in 1980 for my timeshare and supplemented that with annual deposits equal to the fees and pesky assessments, I could have sustained a profitable vacation account.

Additionally, given abundant rental possibilities accessible via the Internet, and other resources unavailable three decades ago, my recommendation to someone thinking of buying a timeshare is simple: Don't.

But if there's a bargain on a timeshare rental in some exotic locale, I'm interested.

And if you own a timeshare and want to invite me along, I'm available on a moment's notice.

I'll even bring the beer.

TIMESHARE RESOURCES

•Timeshare Users Group, a nonprofit self-help organization founded in 1993, offers free consumer-oriented information and advice at www.tug2.net.

•Lisa Ann Schreier's "Time-

share Vacations for Dummies," a 2005 paperback available at Amazon.com and other online sources, has more tips.

•"Buying and Selling Time-

share and Vacation Plans," a free Federal Trade Commission four-page report, can be found at www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/consumer/homes/rea15.shtm.

•TimeSharing Today magazine publishes six times a year and includes pointers, resort reviews, listings of timeshares for sale, rent or trade: www.tstoday.com.

•Tri West Real Estate, at www.triwest-timeshare.com, has renting and buying tips and listings, including time-

shares selling for $1,000 or less.

•Florida Attorney General tips, www.myfloridalegal.com (search "timeshare").

•American Resort Development Association, a 40-year-old trade association representing vacation ownership/resort development industries, is at www.arda.org.